Symphonie d' un Poltergiest Parisien
by The English Phantom
Summary: Bloomers, completely plastered friends, an exploding croquet lawn and the Vicomte de Chagny's Moustache are just some of the issues Erik and Christine have to deal with in their second year of marriage. The Operatic sweethearts are back along with all their friends in the sequel to Un poltergiest tres Parisien.
1. Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to the second story. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I received for my first work. Thank you for following me and my previous story and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

Bothersome Bloomers!

The Morning after the triumph that was the completed gala of Don Juan, Erik and Christine had breakfast with Nadir, Delphine, Meg, Jean and Madame Giry, secreted in the lake house reading the reviews from the night before.

"Apparently my solo piece around the camp fire in the Gypsy scene was a joy to behold!" Meg squeaked holding up the morning edition of Le Figaro.

"The staging was spectacular!" remarked Jean reading the review in L Epoque,

"La Jardinier's voice is a true work of art, it is the benchmark that young opera artists should aspire to!" Christine read from Journal des Debats.

"The Choreography was dynamic and relative to the flow of the story, Madame Annette Giry, has surpassed herself with this interpretation!" Delphine called out from behind her copy of Le Temps.

"It is rumoured that the Anonymous Don Juan may start a new gentlemen's fashion trend as he wears Patterned silk undershorts according to a source at the opera house!" Erik grumbled from his copy of Le Petit Parisian.

"Oops! That was me!" Meg responded, as everyone else's eyes turned in her direction. "The day of the shredded trousers, I was found laughing outside by Jammes and her latest beau, who I found out last night is a journalist for Le Petit Parisian," Meg started, "Jammes asked what I was laughing at and so I told her that Don Juan split his trousers and well, he was wearing undershorts with sheep on them and could well start a new fashion trend!" Meg finished trying to ignore the evil glare from Erik.

"At least you kept my identity a secret!" Erik huffed.

"Well, I think that the anonymous Don Juan was a great success!" Nadir announced as he attempted to defuse the building situation. Leaning over Erik's shoulder, Nadir started to scan the rest of the review. "The rest of the review is noting the number of ladies that fainted due to the sensual tones of Don Juan, a man who chose to remain anonymous until identified at the gala soiree as… BLOODY HELL!" Nadir finished.

Erik nearly leapt out of his seat as Nadir shouted in his ear, "Ow! If I wanted to become deaf, I would have refused to give Carlotta singing lessons!" Erik yelped as he wiggled his finger in his ear in an attempt to clear the ringing from where Nadir had shouted in it.

Nadir was shaking and almost as white as Erik as he stood mouth open in horror, silently pointing at the newspaper that was now on Erik's lap.

"What on earth is wrong with you now?" Erik barked as he turned to face his friend.

Delphine wandered over to her shaking fiancé, "Nadir?" she asked as everyone else including Erik watched with confusion.

Erik gave up on his suddenly mute friend and read more of the review. "Don Juan, a man who chose to remain anonymous until identified at the gala soiree as Monsieur Nadir Khan, friend and business partner of the Architect and Composer of the opera of the hour, Monsieur Erik Jardinier." Erik read as Delphine guided Nadir to a chair.

"I… I…I…" Nadir it seemed had lost the power of speech as he recalled the debacle of the soiree, he tried again, "I… I am… Can I live here with you Erik… Please!" Nadir pleaded desperately, "I have visions of being… I would like the chance to keep my clothes on my back and my virtue intact!" Nadir continued getting on his knees to beg.

"Oh, for heavens sake get up Daroga!" Erik exclaimed, as he made to pick his panicked friend off the floor.

Delphine had been silent for a moment in thought, "Erik, Nadir once told me you can hypnotise people with just your voice," Delphine delicately queried.

"Yes, I can," Erik hesitantly replied,

"And that was what happened last night?" Delphine continued,

"Accidentally but yes it was," Erik replied sounding rather embarrassed, as he assisted Nadir back to the couch.

"How do you break the hypnosis?" Delphine asked.

"Some people can break the trance themselves if they are strong minded, otherwise I speak to them directly in my normal voice to wake them gently, or… I can break the trance harshly if I shout at them," Erik responded remorsefully as he looked directly at Christine.

"If you cannot break the trance, say they leave before you can speak to them directly?" Delphine asked.

The trance normally lasts about a week," Erik replied with a grimace.

"A week!" Nadir squeaked in horror, "What I am to do for a week with around a thousand women thinking that I want to seduce them?" he continued getting frantic.

"All anybody who has been entranced will think is that you are the most desirable man that ever existed and that they need give you a part of them and to have a part of you to feel loved," Erik interrupted his fractious friend.

"That would explain why last night in the soiree Nadir ended up looking like he had a row with an irate tailor!" Meg interjected with a giggle.

"Yes," Erik confirmed with a smirk, "So, hopefully most of the subjects of the hypnosis that you may come across in the next week already have a part of your costume, so that only leaves them to give you something of theirs." Erik finished.

"I dread to think what that will be!" Nadir added morosely.

Had I sung the original lyrics, then things could have been so much worse!" Erik added still smirking.

Nadir looked like he was about to ask more about the versions of the lyrics, when Christine looked at Erik who was now giving her a hungry wolf expression beneath his mask. "Nadir believe me when I tell you, you do not want to know!" Christine informed him quickly.

Looking quickly between his friend and Christine, and the looks they were giving one another even at this time in the morning, Nadir shuddered, "On second thoughts I think you are right, Christine," he responded, "I do not want to know!"

Suddenly Erik clapped his hands making everyone else in the room jump, "Right I think it is time we established operation get Nadir to and from home and work in one piece!" he declared with a huge grin.

ooo

The following morning at eight o'clock, a strange looking elderly lady, buckled over with age was let into the office by Thomas as he left for the quarry. The lady staggered into the office of Angel Architecture. shut the door, then looked around seeing only Gilen. Standing up straight, she removed the large cloak and grey wig, and suddenly transformed into a moustache and goatee free, wrinkled, pale and elderly Nadir.

"Good morning Grandfather!" Erik jovially called from the door of his office.

"You are really enjoying this!" Nadir grumbled as he reached for a bottle of skin oil and a cloth and started to to remove the makeup.

"If you think I am enjoying this now, you wait until you see what is in the post!" Erik chortled, I opened one parcel addressed to you and thought better of it!" Erik finished as he went back into his office

' _Thought better of it?'_ Nadir thought as he located the afore mentioned package which sat partially opened on his chair.

Gilen at this point was heading from the back room into Erik's office with a cup of coffee and was just depositing the cup on Erik's desk when Nadir's voice carried through the office.

"WHAT THE BLAZES!" Nadir shouted, causing Erik and Gilen to dash back into the main office.

Employer and employee could not help themselves, they both curled up on the floor in heaps of laughter at the sight before them. Nadir was standing in the middle of the office, half made up holding a pair of pink lacy bloomers in one hand.

"Erik is this your idea of a practical joke?" Nadir growled waving the bloomers to indicate the source of his annoyance.

"It appears that we have now discovered what the entranced ladies wish to give you of theirs!" Erik squeaked out as he continued to roar with laughter.

Much to Nadir's annoyance Erik and Gilen were laughing so hard at this point that their bladders were in danger of embarrassing them both, when Thomas came back into the office with several more parcels.

"The Postal delivery is rather large!" Thomas declared as he placed the armful of parcels on Nadir's desk.

Gilen got his mirth under control, dusted himself off and went to help as Nadir stared at the pile of packages on his desk.

ooo

It took one more trip for Gilen, Thomas and the postman before everything was delivered. Nadir sat at his desk and sighed each time another package was balanced there. Erik was staring at the largest pile of letters ever delivered which were sitting on Gilen's desk.

"Humm," Erik mused as he bent down and reached into his boot for a slim dagger, which he then proceeded to use as a letter opener and with it opened the first envelope, "It appears that this is for you!" Erik continued with a snigger as he handed the letter to Nadir.

"Good Grief!" Nadir exclaimed as he finished reading the letter and his cheeks went scarlet, "I did not even know ladies had that kind of mind frame!" he continued as his hands started to screw the letter into a ball.

"Ah, Ah!" Erik called out, "You need to be polite and will have to reply to each letter, even if it is to turn down their offer," Erik pointed out, "I can draft a simple reply and Gilen and Thomas can copy it for each letter and you just have to sign it and we can then post it to each lady whose letter you received with salacious offers for you," Erik finished, before turning to Thomas.

"I need you to stay today in the office to help the Daroga respond to his fan mail!" Erik informed his apprentice with a chuckle.

Thomas grinned back, "Yes Monsieur Erik!" he replied taking off his coat and taking a chair and sitting next to Gilen at his desk ready to respond.

ooo

Four hours later and Thomas and Gilen were heading out of the office with writers cramp and a huge pile of letters to be posted. Erik and Nadir remained in the office and took stock of the contents of most of the parcels that had been opened.

"Do not say a word!" Nadir grumbled as Erik bit his lip to refrain from laughing.

"I suspect that that this is the most exciting contents your in tray has ever had!" Erik retorted with a chuckle, looking at the heaped multicoloured silks and linens now spilling over from the neat wooden tray Nadir normally kept correspondence in.

"This is all your fault!" Nadir grumbled as he started opening another parcel.

"How is this my fault?" Erik asked slight hurt in his voice, "I was not the one to out you, that was Meg!" he finished.

"You are right, but I am not cut out to be the next Casanova!" Nadir all but wailed,

"Er excuse me!" Erik called out, "Don Juan… Not Casanova if you please!"

"Whatever!" Nadir remarked as he removed from the last parcel the biggest pair of bloomers he had ever seen, "Ye Gads! These are enormous!" Nadir exclaimed as a note fell out of the magenta silk and lace bloomers.

Erik picked up the note and burst out laughing, "These are from the Comtess de Avignon!" he remarked as Nadir shuddered.

"She has drowned them in perfume!" Nadir exclaimed as he threw them on top of the pile in his in tray.

Erik could not help one last swipe at his beleaguered friend,

"I sincerely hope those… gifts have been washed before they were sent to you!" Erik remarked with a smirk, watching as Nadir then shuddered and rapidly grabbed the ruler from his desk and using it to push his entire in tray and its contents into the waste paper basket at the side of his desk.

"You are such a bastard for pointing that out!" Nadir declared, "Ugh! I am going to have to wash my hands now because of you!"

Still chuckling, Erik left Nadir in the back room scrubbing his hands and returned to his office, needing to catchup on the work he delayed due to his debut as temporary Musical Director at the Garnier.

ooo

The afternoon had Nadir moving his desk into the back room in case any of the ladies decided to turn up in person as well as Gilen having to go out and purchase a new in tray for Nadir as the old one and its lascivious contents were now charring in the fireplace that heated the office.

ooo

All too soon it was time for Nadir to get ready to go home and as Erik entered the back room, make up ready to go. "Are you ready for your make up Madame Bovary?" Erik asked, as Nadir looked up from the accounting book he was filling in, with a huff.

"Madame Bovary?" Nadir queried, "Just because you can sit and read that huge potboiler in less than two hours, does not mean the rest of us did!" he pointed out, before standing up indignantly with the realisation. "Hey!" Nadir yelled, "I have just realised you are calling me an adulteress, some friend you are!" he finished with his hands now on his hips in now righteous indignation.

"I was complimenting you by referring to the fact that like you Madame Bovary is someone adapting to their situation actually," Erik calmly retorted, "Anyway, you cannot be an adulteress, you are a man" Erik pointed out as he started laying out the various greasepaints required for Nadir's disguise.

"A compliment from you?" Nadir questioned with suspicion in every word, as he glanced at Erik who was now standing in front of his friend wringing his hands nervously.

"Yes," Erik replied staring at the floor, "I have been thinking today about a lot of things and I… I…" Erik sighed, "I am very sorry you are once again having to hide away for your own safety because of me!" Erik finished looking very remorseful.

Nadir was shocked, very shocked in fact. The rapid change in his friends mood was not a surprise but Erik had just apologised and meant it was shocking enough but to apologise for inconveniencing the man he call friend and pest often in the same breath, this was unheard of.

"Um, thank you Erik," Nadir started "I accept your apology, and well…" Nadir continued before Erik cut him off.

"Good! Now hold still whilst I create your disguise to get you home," Erik brusquely stated as he picked up a sponge and the first palette of greasepaint.

Nadir grinned, Erik was back to his normal self.

ooo

The end of the week was nearing and with Erik at work and a rest day for Christine and Meg, Delphine joined them both at the lake house for tea and gossip.

"How is Nadir finding his disguise?" Meg asked as Christine poured the tea.

"Well apart from the fact he forgot to take it off the second night he wore it and woke himself up with a fright the following morning," Delphine replied with a giggle.

"A fright?" Christine questioned as she handed Delphine her tea.

"Yes," Delphine replied now laughing, "He woke up to see an old ladies face imprinted in his pillow and screamed.

"Poor Nadir," Meg responded, "How did you find this out?" she asked as she took her own cup of tea from Christine.

Delphine had to place her cup on the table beside herself as she started shaking with laughter. "I was in bed beside him when it happened," she informed Meg and Christine, "I reminded him to take his makeup off before we went to sleep, but it seems he forgot." She finished, as Christine and Meg joined in the laughter.

"Erik has come up with a… a new term for Nadir," Christine informed Meg and Delphine who were wiping the tears of laughter from their eyes.

"Well he had run out of words to go with the term Persian at some point," Delphine responded,

"What do you mean? Meg asked as Delphine and Christine looked at each other,

"Let me start," Christine replied, "Pernickety Persian, Prying Persian, Petulant Persian, Peeved Persian," she added

"Pernicious Persian, Precocious Persian… I think that is most of them," Delphine finished, tapping her finger against her chin in thought.

"Let us not forget his favourite one when Nadir has really annoyed him." Christine interjected.

"Ah, Yes," Delphine answered as she and Christine looked at one another,

"You great booby!" they said together before all three friends burst out laughing.

"Poor Nadir," Meg declared, "What is this new term Erik has come up with?" she asked.

"Well I had better start from the beginning," Christine replied as she handed round the plate of pastries. "It started after Erik told me about the piles of ladies lingerie that were sent to Nadir in the office." She continued with another snigger.

"I have to admit I thought I would do myself a mischief laughing when Nadir told me, even though he was clearly not amused by it all" Delphine added.

Meg was puzzled and so Christine and Delphine between them told the story of the bothersome bloomers.

"So, you see," Christine continued as she poured them all another cup of tea, "Erik was trying to make Nadir feel better about all this fuss by pointing out that this was all indicating that ladies saw Nadir as a symbol of potent male sexuality, a… What did Erik call him… Ah, yes Nadir is now a sex symbol!" Christine finished as the three friends giggled together.

"A sex symbol?" Meg queried "How did that go?"

"It did not go well at all," Christine replied, "Erik would not even tell me what Nadir called him, but I can gather it was rude and in Persian." Christine finished sipping her tea.

"That sounds like Nadir!" Delphine said with a shake of her head, "you would never know those two were the best of friends if you did not know them," she finished as Meg and Christine nodded their agreement and the ladies then moved onto other matters.

ooo

Whilst the ladies were enjoying a relaxing morning, Nadir was not. Fed up and frustrated with having to hide from the outside world, he was finding a new level of respect for Erik, who had spent most of his life choosing to hide away. However, respect or not, Nadir had had enough and grabbing his spare Astrakhan hat from it's place on the coat rack he placed it on his head and wandered into Erik's office to see his friend hunched over his drafting table. Nadir waited until Erik lifted his head from his latest design before speaking.

"I am going to nip out for some pastries, Gilen can look after the front office." Nadir stated as Erik's jaw dropped.

"Do you think that is wise?" Erik replied, "The week has not finished yet!"

Nadir huffed, "We have hardly received any parcels or letters today, so it is probably over, and I am getting cabin fever!" Nadir retorted back, "I am a big boy I can look after myself!" he finished turning on his heel and striding out of the office.

Erik shrugged his shoulders and went back to his drawing, completely unsurprised when only a few minutes later the front door to the office opened and then, was slammed shut and the bolts were slid in place before the noise of panicky breathing was heard.

Putting his pencil down, Erik was just getting off his chair when Gilen dashed into the room, "It is monsieur Nadir, he has been attacked!" Gilen informed Erik with a note of fear in his voice.

Erik strode into the main office to see Nadir leaning on the now locked front door holding it shut, a wild look in his eyes and his clothes slightly torn and askew.

"There is a pack of them outside the office waiting for me!" Nadir yelped, "I did not think I would make it back inside with any clothing on me!" he wailed, before launching himself away from the door and running into the back office as though the devil was after him. His departure was shortly followed by the bathroom door slamming shut and the lock being engaged.

Erik dug deep and found some compassion for Nadir that allowed him to hold his tongue and not call out the oft used phrase of 'I warned you!' Shaking his head Erik looked at Gilen, "A strong sweet coffee for Nadir and add a very large dose of the brandy from the decanter in my office please," Erik asked before turning towards the now locked bathroom door.

"And now since the big boy has proven he could not look after himself, I had better remove him from the bathroom otherwise we shall have no facility to use," Erik grumbled under his breath before heading towards Nadir's current place of safety.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to the second Chapter of my new story, Thank you so much for following me this new story and my previous story and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

The Honourable Unemployed

The week of torture was up and at the end of seven days to the hour of Erik completing the last note of the seduction duet, a large number of Ladies that had been present at the gala, found themselves wondering why they had a letter from Erik Jardinier's Business partner thanking them for enjoying the Opera 'Don Juan' and explaining that he was happily engaged. Some of these ladies also could not figure out where a pair of their bloomers had gone. Nadir found that he could once again travel around Paris as himself and no one batted an eye lid and Erik was very happy indeed, one of the few letters that had not been requesting Nadir's attention had actually been from an English Lord, a cousin of the Marquis de Bordeaux, who had seen Erik's design for the Marquis's now completed summer house and wondered if Erik could design something for him as well?

Raoul was happy, Meredith had been woken from the trance at the soiree and ever since was making more of a fuss of Raoul in the bedroom sense, this was enough to make any husband happy.

In fact, of all the male friends, the only one not happy was Jean... He had a problem that was becoming more apparent and so far, nothing he had tried to resolve it had worked. The morning of Nadir's freedom from the confines of his disguise, had brought Jean a meeting with his father… A meeting he had been expecting since his marriage; and whilst not exactly stressful it left Jean troubled.

ooo

The morning began as usual for the now married Jean, breakfast with Meg before she went to the Garnier for the start of classes and then Jean told Meg each night, he normally went to visit friends or stayed in to read the paper, but for the majority of the time Meg was dancing this was not the case. This particular day when shortly after Meg left a resounding knock on the apartment door resulted in Jean finding his father's valet outside with a message from the Baron; Jean was required at the town house post haste and Jean sighed he knew what the request for his presence was about.

ooo

Arriving at his father's study door Jean had a feeling what was going to be discussed, knocking before entering he found his father sitting at his desk with a cigar and a cup of coffee.

"Ah, come in my son!" Aristide jovially called as Jean shut the door and walked over to sit in front of his father.

"You sent for me Papa?" Jean asked as Aristide pointed to a cup of coffee that was waiting on the front of Aristide's desk ready.

"Yes, my son, it is time for you to spread your own wings just like I did, until the day you become Baron in my stead." Aristide announced before sipping his coffee. Jean sighed, he knew what his father was getting at.

"Meg knows nothing of this but, so far I have asked for employment in a shop," Jean started, "I was declined because I should be shopping in the shop not serving," he continued, "I asked at the tailors and had the same reply, he added.

"Anywhere else?" Aristide enquired,

"I tried the gentlemen's club and was told exactly the same thing, I am also too old to sell newspapers and too posh to work in the bakery." Jean answered.

"Ah!" Aristide responded, before Jean continued.

"I do not know enough about finance to work in a bank, but they did ask me if I wanted to open a new account!" Jean all but wailed, "I fainted at the hospital when I went to see if I could become a Doctor, as I apparently, cannot stand the sight of blood. Also, I tried the music shop and was told that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket and so would not be suitable to sell instruments. Too posh to work in the market on a stall, have no ability to cut hair or trim beards according to the barbers." Jean added his defeat in his voice getting stronger with each admission of failure.

"Erm, what else have you tried?" Aristide asked, getting a little concerned.

"The insurance company that you worked for and then bought out will not employ me without your express orders as they are uncomfortable employing the owners son," Jean pointed out, "I begged Madame Giry for a secret audition possibly becoming a male chorus member at the Garnier both singing and as a dancer and discovered I cannot dance unless it is with a partner and so am no good on stage and I return to the premise I cannot carry a tune in a bucket! Too Posh to work in a café or restaurant, In the end I considered being a pavement artist, but everyone laughed because I cannot draw except for stick people! Nobody wants to give me a chance to show them I can work and work hard!" Jean finished his hopes completely crushed.

Aristide sighed, "Know this my son, you are trying and that is important, I will continue to support you and Meg until you find employment so do not worry about finances." Aristide assured his forlorn son, "It seems times have changed since I was younger, and well… As long as you keep trying, I will be proud of you." He finished as he rose from his desk and hugged Jean.

"Now turn that frown upside down, let us have breakfast with your mother and see what we can work out." Aristide said jovially trying to cheer his defeated and jobless son up.

ooo

Although breakfast was lovely and Jean did smile it was forced, so his parents did not worry too much about him, but Aristide was not daft, he knew the fact no one wanting to employ his enthusiastic son, was hurting Jean badly and suggested that Jean spoke to Erik for some more ideas.

ooo

Meanwhile at Angel Architecture, Erik was meeting his prospective new client. Lord Mountjoy-Loveday and his cousin the Marquis de Bordeaux were sitting in Erik's office nursing a large brandy each as Erik waxed lyrical about the gothic revival and the neo-classical movement and his own take on them in regard to the ideas, he had for the Mountjoy mansion.

"Wonderful!" Lord Mountjoy, remarked, "but tell me, will the design be pretty?"

"Pretty?" Erik reiterated,

"Yes Pretty, has to match the house, don'tcha know." Lord Mountjoy explained.

Erik sighed, "Yes the design will be pretty!" he replied.

"Wonderful! Have not had an addition to the old pile since the seventeenth Century," he finished with a grin as he drained his now third glass of Erik's brandy.

With Lord Mountjoy becoming increasingly intoxicated on the proffered brandy and no potential business agreement in sight, Erik decided that maybe something sweeter may increase his chances of getting this client to agree to sign contract and then Erik happily send the client and his cousin on their way.

"Would you care for a little pastry to go with your drinks?" Erik asked trying to sound casual about it.

"Absolutely! Spiffing idea!" Lord Mountjoy declared as he waved his empty glass and grinned as Erik topped it up before exiting his own office.

Erik was losing patience; this potential client had wasted three hours of his time and imbibed almost a third of his decanter of brandy and the only comments he had contributed to the actual discussions were relating to if the design would be pretty. Shutting the door behind him Erik leant on it and sighed, "give me strength!" Erik grumbled as he wandered over to Nadir's desk as the Persian looked up from his paperwork.

. "Had enough of English Chintz?" Nadir quipped as he chuckled at Erik's peeved expression

"I think the man is quite mad!" Erik replied with a huff, "He actually asked if my designs would be pretty!" Erik exclaimed shock ringing clear in his voice. "I am not cut out for meeting clients and sweet talking them!" Erik huffed as the front door to the office opened and Nadir and Erik watched a morose Jean enter, shutting the door he stood in front of Erik.

"Erik, can I have some advice Please?" Jean asked,

Remembering the last time Jean asked for advice, Erik shuddered, this was not what he needed on top of the current lunacy drinking brandy in his private office. "Please tell me you and Meg have not had another argument?" Erik all but pleaded.

It was Jean's turn to look concerned, "No we are fine, but I am unemployable!" Jean wailed softly.

"Pardon?" Erik and Nadir both responded simultaneously.

"I need a job and all I keep getting told is that aristocrats do not work, what am I to do?" Jean clarified.

Nadir looked concerned at that point, not only because of Jean's clear distress but because of the thoughtful look that appeared in Erik's eyes.

"Humm, it could work and if it does then life will be so much easier, and Jean will have a guaranteed job if he succeeds," Erik said under his breath before turning to Jean,

"What is your mind concocting now?" Nadir asked suspiciously,

Erik turned back to his friend, "Simple, I hate meeting and encouraging clients to sign their contracts, I am only interested in working out what I need to create the designs, Jean needs a job fit for an aristocrat and I need someone who understands the upper classes and how to convince them that we are the right choice!" Erik declared brightly as he grinned at Jean. "Jean can be my 'Aide to Clients'" Erik continued, before his tone darkened and his volume dropped, "But only if he gets that idiot in my office to sign that damn contract." he finished with a glare.

Jean gulped, he had forgotten just how menacing Erik could be and this was a rather clear reminder, "Y… Yes Sir!" he replied staring at Erik's shoes.

Nadir finished the paperwork on his desk before turning to Erik and flourishing the completed paperwork at him. "It is a good thing I have just finished drawing up the contract then!" he declared as he handed it to Jean.

"Wow this looks like it was drawn up by a notaire!" Jean remarked cheerfully as he carefully folded the document and placed it in his inner coat pocket ready for getting it signed.

"Thank you!" Nadir replied smugly, "I have had to become quite the expert in French Law since I arrived in Paris due to our friend's perchance for getting into trouble," Nadir quipped looking directly at Erik.

Erik looked back incensed, "Erik Jardinier has never been in trouble with the law!" he grumbled.

"Vicomte de Chagny!" Nadir whispered almost inaudibly as he inspected his nails,

"What did you just say?" Erik growled back,

"Um, I said you might have eventually!" Nadir replied innocently.

"Humm!" Erik responded glaring at Nadir, having heard exactly what he had said.

Jean looked at the two men and then at Gilen who was head down and scribbling furiously in a book at his desk whilst trying not to laugh.

"When do I start?" Jean asked anxious to delay the current bickering match that was brewing between Erik and Nadir.

Erik's mood changed instantly, "Right now in fact!" he replied happily, "I shall introduce you to Lord Mountjoy-Loveday and you already know his cousin the Marquis de Bordeaux."

Jean went to step towards Erik's office door when Erik caught him by his arm, "This is a potential fifty thousand franc contract, get him to sign it and the job is yours," Erik pointed out quietly to Jean before reaching into his trouser pocket and pulling out a roll of bank notes with his other hand. "Take this money and entertain our clients, I do not care if you have to visit a bordello, or the finest restaurant or both, to keep them happy take them where ever they want to go, except the opera house!" Erik finished as he handed Jean the money. "Now let me introduce you and you get them out of my office!" Erik finished releasing Jean's arm and heading to the door.

ooo

Introductions made, a carriage and departure later, Erik was found seated at his desk by Nadir in his office his head in his hands, "Ugh! That damned idiot, I have such a headache!" Erik groaned, "I think I shall finish early and head home," he added as Nadir looked on.

"You have gone a horrid colour even for you!" Nadir remarked as Erik looked up from between his hands, his eyes narrowing at the comment.

"Thank you… I think!" Erik grumbled.

"I shall be escorting you home," Nadir replied, "I know your temper when you have a headache!"

"I have no intention of lassoing anyone today," Erik replied testily

"No but the last time you went home on your own with a headache, you made the carriage driver cry!" Nadir pointed out.

"If he had not chosen to take me over every pothole in Paris on the journey, he would have been fine!" Erik retorted as he stood up and wandered over to the coat rack to collect his fedora and cloak.

Nadir gave up, there was no arguing with his masked friend when he had a headache. "Let me get my hat and we shall travel together!" Nadir remarked as both men left the office.

ooo

Back at the house on the lake and one cup of tea each later and a glass of willow bark extract for Erik, the two men were settled at Erik's chess board.

"I wonder how Jean is getting on?" Nadir asked rhetorically, as he sipped his second cup of tea whilst waiting for Erik to make his move.

"Probably having a very fun time at my expense!" Erik retorted as he placed his current chess piece in its new position, "Check!"

"What!" Nadir yelped looking at the board and realising that he was indeed in check and realising that any further move he made would result in him loosing the game, "Best out of five?" he asked as Erik grinned smugly.

"And why not?" Erik replied as he started to reset the board, "There is nothing more we can do until Jean gets back hopefully with the contract signed." Erik continued, "If he has had a lovely afternoon on my francs without getting that contract signed, I will throw him in the lake and let the catfish nibble him!"

"That is not very nice," Nadir pointed out,

"No, you are right," Erik sighed, "they do not normally eat junk food!"

Nadir looked agog at Erik's off the cuff remark, "I give up!" he grumbled, as he made his first move of the new game.

"You give up already?" Erik queried, as he deliberately wound his friend up with a grin "We have only just started this game?"

"That is not what I meant, and you know it!" Nadir replied hotly, "Oh for heavens sake just make your move and I hope that Jean does get that contract signed for all our sakes!" Nadir finished as Erik continued grinning at him.

ooo

Meanwhile out in Paris, Jean had had anything but a fun time, so far, he had been required to take his clients to an inn for the working classes since Lord Mountjoy wanted to try French peasant food like a French peasant, and Jean spent the entire time the Marquis and Lord Mountjoy sat in the inn happily eating and drinking, worried sick they would get robbed and mugged. Then came the next visit, thankfully Jean had managed to get both clients to go up market for their 'dessert' and so he spent over an hour on his own in the waiting room of the Hotel du Papillion, which was the most upmarket bordello in Paris whilst his clients enjoyed themselves. Alas his day unknowingly to Jean, was to his horror only going to get worse.

Next stop was the gentlemen's club and as Jean sipped a coffee, Lord Mountjoy and the Marquis poured themselves into a bottle of Absinth, before Jean had to assist both men back to the carriage to continue their day.

It was during this carriage journey, that Lord Mountjoy came up with yet another ridiculous idea.

"I say Louis old boy, is not the new family mausoleum in a cemetery somewhere around here?" Lord Mountjoy asked with a hiccup.

"Yes," the Marquis replied it is situated in Pere Lachaise Cemetery not far from where we currently are travelling." The Marquis replied.

"That does it!" Lord Mountjoy cried out, "Jean dear boy get the driver to take us to Pere Lachaise, I wish to pay my respects to our ancestors!"

Jean inwardly groaned, he could just imagine Erik's reaction if he found out about this, but he also remembered that Erik did give strict instructions to take his clients anywhere but the opera house, so leaning out of the window of the carriage he gave the driver instructions and settled back as the carriage took the three men to their chosen destination.

ooo

Over an hour had passed since Jean and his clients had made their way to the cemetery and back at the Lake house Erik and Nadir were into the best of ten games of Chess, when one of Erik's alarms went off suddenly halting the game.

"That is an odd alarm!" Nadir remarked as Erik silence the alarm on the panel.

"Humm indeed, that is an old alarm, it is situated on my emergency escape route via the catacombs and is set just inside the tunnel exit to Pere Lachaise. It has not been activated in years," Erik commented as he went to fetch his cloak and fedora.

"That is nearly three miles from here!" Nadir pointed out as he placed his astrakhan hat on his head intent on joining Erik.

"Above ground yes, it is much shorter via the sewers and the catacombs, Erik replied lighting a lamp and handing it to Nadir. "That trap was set to be lethal so we must be quick before it becomes so!" Erik retorted dashing out of the front door with Nadir hot on his heels.

ooo

Jean was in a lot of trouble, and he knew it, knew it the moment Lord Mountjoy wandered around the back of the Mausoleum and found a seemingly long forgotten entrance to the catacombs.

In his absinth addled brain, Lord Mountjoy had deemed it a good idea to see where the secret tunnel led and entering had promptly set off some kind of device. Jean knew without a doubt, that Erik would now be very aware what had happened, since the device had to be one of his traps.

' _Oh, good heavens I am going to be fired and killed on my first day!'_ thought Jean as he and the now soberer Marquis struggled to get Lord Mountjoy down from the wall of the tunnel where a net of ropes had trapped him.

Lord Mountjoy was thankfully, still drunk and very amused by these events he gave a small commentary on his situation, "By Jove this is ingenious the more one struggles the tighter the ropes get!" he remarked, wiggling his arm and watching as the rope holding it grew tighter.

"Please stop struggling!" Jean earnestly implored as he reached into his boot for the small pocket knife he kept there and tried to cut the rope nearest Lord Mountjoy's neck.

ooo

A little while later after more struggling, Jean's rising panic was interrupted by a familiar sound, the clearing of a specific throat, and as Jean turned towards the darkness of the tunnel his heart rose and sank rapidly, for there exiting the gloom was a very annoyed Erik and a very worried Nadir clutching his lantern.

A few minutes later Erik had freed the errant lord from his rope prison, and the five men looked at each other in silence which was broken by Lord Mountjoy's humorous laugh, "I say Monsieur Jardinier, you should give this dear boy a raise I have not had so much fun in years," Lord Mountjoy retorted before he yawned, "though I am very tired now and would like to return to my bed for a rest!" he finished.

"I am very glad you have had a good day!" Erik replied woodenly staring at Jean who saw in Erik's eyes, not the promise of a raise but the threat of a good clout, for his part in this debacle.

"Jean, show our clients into their carriage and direct the driver to taken them back to the Marquis town house," Erik ordered, "Then you and I need a little talk!" Erik instructed.

As Jean took the Marquis and Lord Mountjoy back to their carriage and got them settled in Erik turned to Nadir, "It is a good thing that trap was old, this would not have been a good end to the day otherwise," he sighed.

"Just do not hurt the lad," Nadir implored, hoping vehemently for Jean's sake he had gotten the contract signed.

ooo

As the carriage drove away Jean returned to where Erik and Nadir still stood wondering if what had just transpired in the carriage was enough to prevent him requiring his own epitaph. Reaching into his pocket Jean located the remains of the roll of bank notes Erik had given him that morning.

"Here is the money left over from today," Jean nervously stated as he placed the now much smaller roll of notes in Erik's hand. "And…" at this point Jean reached into his jacket and produced some familiar paperwork, "Here is the contract all signed, and…" at this point Jean started grinning, "Lord Mountjoy had added a bonus of five thousand francs for our hospitality!" he cheerfully informed a now incredulous Erik as he handing the signed contract to him.

"It appears that you will live another day!" Erik grumbled as he put the contact and the roll of francs in his own jacket.

Jean looked puzzled, and Nadir interpreted for him, "It means you still have a job and we shall see you back in the office tomorrow morning at eight!" Nadir informed the now relieved Jean.

"Do not be late!" Erik barked as he rapidly turned and entered the tunnel once again, Nadir grinned at Jean,

"Good work and well done for surviving your first day!" Nadir congratulated their now overjoyed new employee before turning back to the tunnel and disappearing along with Erik.

ooo

Jean stood for a few moments in the peaceful surrounding of the cemetery grinning like a fool until he suddenly realised something, he was alone, did not know the tunnels back, Erik and Nadir would be long gone by now, and he also had no carriage to get him home.

"Oh, well!" Jean said to a nearby stone angel, as he pulled the collar of his jacket up, "I just need to find my way out of here and walk home."

And with the smile of someone who has finally found employment after no luck at all, Jean strode down the pathways to the nearest exit and home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Apologies for the delay in the next chapter but Redecorating a house took up my time.**

 **This is a two part chapter as when I finished it was huge! So, it has been split.**

 **Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

Old Habits Die Hard

Erik had to admit that despite the rocky start, employing Jean as his aide to clients was one of his better ideas. However, that decision was almost reversed when two weeks after the incident in Pere Lachaise, Erik had to go over to the Folies Bergere, and apologise for his clients dancing on the tables in the bar before they signed their contract and went home. Still Angel Architecture was gaining an even better reputation not only for the defining designs Erik created but also for their hospitality.

ooo

It was on the journey back from cuffing Jean smartly around the ear and paying the managers of the Folies for the damaged tables, that Erik was delighted to discover something that brought back some of his more pleasant memories of his time in Italy.

Stuck in a carriage jam on the rue Faubourg de Montmartre, Erik looked out of the carriage window and spotted a newly opened little delicatessen shop with some of its wares hanging around the front of the shop that lifted his spirits. Quickly indicating to his driver to find somewhere to stop, Erik paid the driver to wait as he shot into this small palace of delights and exited triumphantly a short time later, holding a strange smelling, paper wrapped long cylinder. Still clutching his prize, Erik directed the driver to the back streets and a quicker return to his office.

ooo

When Erik finally arrived back in the office the strange cylinder held proudly in his hand, Nadir looked up from his desk and started sniffing the air before pulling a disgusted face.

"Are we expecting an attack of A'frit?" he enquired as Erik went to enter his private office.

"No!" Erik replied stopping in front of Nadir's desk, "Why do you ask that?"

"Because suddenly there is a strange odour in here, spices and mostly garlic!" Nadir replied suddenly eyeing up the object Erik was holding. "Hang on!" Nadir called suddenly realising what Erik was holding, "Is that a garlic sausage?" Nadir asked as he rose from his desk, "I hope you have not started eating large amounts of garlic again!" he moaned

"It is a Garlic stuffed salami a rare treat I love from Italy, And… So, what if I am eating loads of garlic again" Erik retorted, clutching his purchase to his chest.

"Erik, really Garlic Salami in the office?" Nadir protested, "it stinks!"

"Now you are just fussing Daroga!" Erik grumbled as Gilen came through the front door and promptly grabbed his own nose,

"Eww what is that?" Gilen asked, dashing into the back room, as Nadir looked directly at Erik with a smug smirk.

Erik scowled, "it is a fine Italian cured sausage with whole cloves of Garlic in it!" he defended still clutching it to his chest.

"It is also going to become a perfume if you continue to crush it to yourself like that!" Nadir pointed out.

"Just because you do not like salami!" Erik argued,

Nadir pinched the bridge of his nose, "I am very happy without salami, and even happier without huge amounts of garlic. The office day is nearly done, take that… stinky salami and go home!" Nadir declared pointing his finger at the door.

"Philistine Persian," Erik grumbled as he turned towards the front door and stalked back out.

ooo

Arriving back at the lake house early did have one advantage, Erik realised, Christine was still at rehearsals for the upcoming production of Faust and therefore Erik had the house to his self and after placing his snack on the kitchen table, he removed his hat, cloak and mask, swapped his shoes for his slippers and wandered back into the kitchen. A pop of a cork from the wine cellar and a swift decisive stroke of a knife later, Erik, with a chunk of his salami and a pleasing glass of red, made his way into the sitting room and after stoking the fire he settled into his reading chair to peruse the newspaper and enjoy a piece of his treat. He had barely reached the society pages when he realised that more of his treat would go nicely, so putting the paper down he wandered into the kitchen and emerged with the remaining salami, a knife and the rest of the bottle of wine, topping up his glass and cutting off another chunk, Erik placed the knife on the table and took a large bite of salami as he perused the latest in the upper classes.

ooo

Christine was just entering the front hall of the lake house when she felt something was not right, then she noticed Saya and Ami curled up under the coat rack. Shutting the front door before the cats could escape into the cellars, she took her own cloak off and tried to encourage her pets into the sitting room. Giving up when the cats refused to budge, she wandered into the sitting room to a peculiar sight.

Fast asleep in his reading chair with the newspaper on his lap and his hands folded over his chest was Erik, but it was the sight of what appeared to be half a sausage, a knife, a wine glass and an almost empty wine bottle on the table beside him that caught Christine's eye and then her nose.

"What on earth?" Christine declared, waking a dozing Erik in the process.

"Wa, What, Who!" Erik yelled as he sat up and reached to his pocket for his lasso, stopping when he realised who had woken him up.

"Erik what is that?" Christine demanded, pointing to the contents of the table top, "Are we trying to kill Vampires?"

Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Erik tilted his head to glance at the remains of his snack, "That… that is a little Italian snack," he replied sweetly.

"Ugh, a snack?" Christine grimaced, "All I can smell is Garlic!" she pointed out before realising something else, "Erik, my dear, whilst I am always happy that you now have an appetite…Just how much of that did you eat?" she asked cautiously.

"Only a little bit," Erik said then as he looked fully at the partially demolished treat, "Oh, err, um," Erik stuttered blushing, as Christine raised an eyebrow.

"De Capo, Maestro?" Christine asked dangerously, "How much of that salami did you eat?"

Erik was staring with horror at the remains of the salami, "Half," he mumbled, "It was so good that I seem to have absent mindedly eaten half of it!" he replied sheepishly.

Christine did not know whether to laugh or cry, "You have eaten half a salami containing whole garlic cloves! Erik you know what too much garlic does to you!" she finished exasperatedly.

"I like lots of garlic!" Erik declared sullenly,

"Lots of garlic does not like you Erik!" she pointed out and as if agreement, Erik's stomach rumbled loudly.

"I think we shall be having a simple broth with bread for supper!" Christine declared staring at Erik's stomach, she began turning towards the kitchen, before suddenly turning back to her errant husband, "Get that salami out of the house right now!" she instructed sternly before resuming her journey to the kitchen.

Erik joined Christine in the kitchen, "What no good evening kiss for your loving husband?" he asked,

"You are not kissing my lips… or any other part of me until you get rid of the smell of garlic on your breath!" Christine informed him coolly, "go chew some mint or parsley!".

Grumbling under his now garlic infused breath, Erik first removed the salami from the house, he had a small external meat locker on the side of the wall of the house from when he was building it, he checked the door still locked and placed his now precious salami in it, before returning to the house and locating the mint and parsley that was growing in a large pot in the garden room, plucking several stalks of mint for a refreshing tea, he ambled back to the kitchen and put some water on to boil whilst chewing some parsley leaves and watching Christine preparing their supper.

Parsley chewed, mint tea consumed, and supper cooking Erik finally was allowed a kiss from his wife. The rest of the evening passed pleasantly, supper then lessons and then the couple sat curled up on the couch with Erik reading a book as Christine fussed the cats, before they retired to bed.

ooo

A strange distant hiccing noise awoke Christine from her early hour slumber, lighting the candle on her bedside table, she looked at the clock, it was only three in the morning, then she noticed Erik was missing from bed, listening more closely to the noise she realised that it was an Erik with hiccups, quite a lot of hiccups.

Reaching for her dressing gown, Christine sighed, "Here we go again!" she muttered as she located her slippers and putting them on her feet went to seek out her missing husband.

Erik was located in the kitchen, trying to control his hiccups by drinking a glass of water with a teaspoon in it. Christine was less than impressed, as she silently watched him trying to drink the water and to not poke himself in the eye with the spoon, she rapidly formulated a plan for getting some more sleep.

Waiting until Erik had positioned his lips on the rim of the glass and around the spoon she grinned evilly before sashaying into Erik's view, "In all the furore with that silly salami this evening I completely forgot to tell you some exciting news!" she brightly declared as she watched Erik still trying to drink the glass of water, "I am pregnant!" she finished.

No sooner than she had finished speaking, Erik did several things at once, he went whiter than a ghost, and inhaled the contents of the glass, spoon as well before turning blue in the face as he choked, then spat the spoon out with a spray of water and before nearly dropping the glass.

"What!" he squeaked in shock, before clearing his throat, "Pregnant! How?"

"I am not pregnant!" Christine replied with a smirk, "but the shock stopped your hiccups at least!" she pointed out as a weak and shaking, hiccup free Erik placed the glass carefully on the kitchen table before using the tea towel to wipe the excess water from himself, before picking the spoon up from the floor.

"You can be really evil at times!" Erik grumbled,

"I know, but at least we can get some sleep now!" Christine sleepily responded kissing his cheek before turning to head back to their bedroom.

Erik stood up straight and sighed before joining his wife for a few more hours rest.

ooo

The clock was just arriving at six that same morning in the Chateau de Chagny and the resident Vicomte was receiving a rather rude awakening, as from nowhere it seemed his bed chamber was flooded with light. Raoul sat up and sneezed, blowing his sore nose, he winced, and glared at his valet who was now stoking the fire whilst one of the other servants was in the bathroom filling the bath.

"Good morning sir," Louis intoned, "Is the cold still as bad?" he asked as he placed the fire tongs back in the stand and started to prepare Raoul's clothes for the day.

A very stuffy headed Vicomte, glowered first at the clock and then at his valet, "Good grief man it is six o'clock in the morning, I do not rise until at least nine!" Raoul mumbled through his blocked nose as he sneezed yet again.

"Madame Vicomtess, has insisted that you start the day early with a cold dip, she stated that her father has always sworn by an early morning chilled swim for his abilities to quickly recover from colds!" Louis informed his boss.

Raoul was blowing his blocked nose again when Louis finished speaking and as his cold riddled brain processed the last bit of information Raoul started to choke.

"She was quite insistent sir," Louis added, as Raoul got his choking under control, "she said if you tried to get out of it then I was to mention two words, sir" Louis continued.

Raoul, stopped choking long enough to blow his nose again before his muffled voice asked with dread, "What two words?"

"Negligees and fireplace, sir!" Louis calmly informed him.

Raoul felt himself pale, "Good god! Has my sweet wife been taking lessons in torture from Erik Jardinier?" he asked weakly,

"No Sir," Louis replied evenly, "I believe it was Madame Jardinier with whom your wife was corresponding." Louis informed him.

Raoul sighed, he was trapped, if he did not agree to the cold dip, then his adorable wife would burn her most diaphanous nightwear, and most likely not ply him with her favours either, something Raoul was enjoying more frequently, since the gala night.

The decision was already made, "Get me my swimming suit!" a resigned Raoul choked out in monotone mumble.

"You do not need to venture out Sir!" Louis cheerfully informed the resigned Vicomte, "We have taken the liberty of filling your bath with cold water and ice," he finished.

"ice!" Raoul squeaked before choking again,

"Yes sir, a ten minute dip in the iced water, I am informed by the Vicomtess will normally kill or cure most colds!" Louis intoned as Raoul struggled to find words to express his horror at such an idea which would, he thought most likely kill him.

The Vicomte could only find a few weak squeaks before Louis gave him a polite yet jaundiced look "Negligees sir!" he reminded.

Raoul gave up and got up, swaying a little with his stuffed up head from the cold, then steadying himself he walked slowly to the bathroom door, "You are really enjoying this!" he mumbled to a straight faced Louis, before entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

"Never sir!" Louis intoned with a smirk before leaving his boss to his chilly fate.

ooo

Raoul was not the only man to be discovering the horrors of a wife enforced early morning dip. Erik was also in his bathroom currently standing naked under a cold shower, listening to Christine, as she scolded him yet again regarding his perchance for garlic.

"Really what possessed you to eat that much garlic in one go!" Christine chided from where she was located in the bedroom stripping the Pillow cases.

Erik groaned and stuck his head under the shower spray trying to drown out a nagging and very angry wife.

ooo

Half an hour earlier Christine remembered that the hiccups were not the only problem that Erik's excess garlic consumption could cause, and after being rudely awakened by the absolute stench of garlic seeping from Erik's skin, Christine could stand it no longer she sat up and lit her bedside candle. And eager to avoid the argument sure to start the moment she told her sensitive husband that he stank, she tried to wake him gently.

"Erik," she softly called as she stroked his arm, and tried not to take too deep a breath, "Maestro, Angel," she called again, this time she was rewarded with a snort and a half asleep muttered response she could just about understand.

"Very tired! Can we have sex later?" Erik mumbled before he turned over putting his back to Christine and pulling the covers over his head.

All pretence of being subtle fled Christine's head at that point, and she shook him awake. "Erik!" she yelled in his ear, being rewarded with a flurry of garlic scented limbs. Suddenly Erik was sitting up in bed and lighting the candle on his bedside table.

"Damn it woman!" Erik snapped, "what is it?" he grumbled as he turned his head to see the expression on Christine's face. It was not an expression he wanted to see too often; in fact, the last time he saw that expression in their bedroom he was in trouble. That was the time he had been dreaming that he was happily applying his foot to Nadir's backside, when a yelp and a thump woke him to see Christine in a heap on the floor at the side of the bed with that very same angry expression on her face. Much yelling at him later, Erik discovered that whilst he had for once been having not a nightmare, but a lovely dream of kicking Nadir's arse, he had in reality applied his foot to Christine's posterior and had actually kicked her straight out of bed in the middle of the night.

Erik groaned at the memory, and the fact he spent the rest of that night in the sitting room on the couch. Rapidly adjusting his attitude in the vain hope to avoid being told off for whatever he had done unaware in his sleep, he tried again, "Yes my sweet?" he asked.

Christine had had enough, "Erik you stink!" she sharply informed him.

Two unmasked hairless brows rose in perturbation as Erik processed what his normally taciturn wife had just told him. "Erik does not stink!" he retorted.

"Erik all I can smell is second hand garlic!" Christine declared waving her hand in front of her face, "go and have a shower!" she instructed him, pointing to the bathroom door, her face still wearing that angry expression.

Erik realised he was not going to get out of it so with a resigned sigh he climbed out of bed, grabbed his robe and slinging it over his shoulders he sloped off to the bathroom, as Christine lit the gas lamps and started to strip the bed.

Turning around by the door of the bathroom to face his wife, Erik looked puzzled, "Why are you stripping the bedclothes at this time in the morning?" he asked.

Christine looked at him like he had grown a second head, "Erik, you stink of garlic, the sheets stink of garlic… Heavens even I stink of garlic. This is the last time you ever eat garlic in such a quantity, otherwise you can sleep in the boat, do you understand?" Christine barked as she tore the comforter from the bed and started on the sheets.

Erik nodded and with Christine still chastising him and his apparent garlic fetish, he sloped of to the shower, and did as instructed, anything to stop his angel being angry with him.

ooo

Back at the Chateau de Chagny Raoul was blue with cold and huddled back in bed. True the earlier ice bath had helped the cold… it had apparently helped it turn into a nasty cough as well.

Meredith had taken a personal interest in her husband's recovery and was sitting on the side of his bed stroking his forehead before she helped him sit up, removed his pyjama jacket, then dipping her hand into a large jar containing an oily golden coloured substance, she scooped out a large dollop and smeared it on Raoul's chest and back, as the poorly Vicomte blew his nose again.

"You have really caught quite a chill," Meredith soothed as she smeared another dollop of the substance on Raoul's chest. Before motioning Louis to hand her a large sheet of brown paper and some string.

"Why can I only think of sautéed potatoes at the moment?" Raoul mumbled staring at the jar, before another paroxysm of coughing started.

Meredith waited for the coughing to subside, "That is because we are using a cure recommended by your doctor," Meredith informed him as she carefully wrapped his chest and back with the paper and tied it around him with the string before helping him back into his pyjama jacket and buttoning it closed. "Goose grease and insulating brown paper, he said it works well," Meredith informed him, before turning to a bowl placed on Raoul's bedside cabinet, also he said to try this!" she brightly declared as she picked the bowl up from the cabinet and with it a spoon.

Raoul cringed, grateful for once that he could not smell anything, for there in the bowl was a sliced raw onion covered in sugar, a clear syrup was forming where the onion touched the sugar. "Now two spoonful's of this every hour and you should start to feel better!" Meredith instructed as she spooned out some of the syrup and offered it to Raoul.

Clamping his mouth shut like a child Raoul shook his head, and grimaced. Meredith huffed in annoyance, "Louis!" she called "Make sure he takes this and rests, I have a coffee morning to attend but I shall return, and I expect my husband to take his medicine like an adult!" she declared as she placed the spoon back in the bowl and handed it to Louis, before rising from where she had sat on Raoul's bed and with one last fluff of Raoul's hair, she left the room.

"Now sir!" Louis started as he walked over to a table where a decanter sat waiting and placed the bowl down on it, "Shall we try that again with some brandy?" he asked. Raoul nodded; Brandy seemed a far better idea.

ooo

Erik was relieved that once he had showered, used a large amount of dentifrice and chewed some more mint, as well as almost marinated himself in his cologne, the garlic smell had vanished, and with it most of Christine's anger.

"You smell like my husband again," Christine commented, as she wrapped her arms around Erik before giving him a loving kiss, "But I meant what I said, get rid of that salami and never buy another one!"

"Yes dear!" Erik replied,

Christine drew away from Erik's arms, "Do not 'yes dear' me!" she retorted, putting her hands on her hips, "Get rid of the garlic salami or the only kiss in this house is a kiss goodbye to your most favourite non-musical personal past time!" Christine declared her eyebrows raised suggestively.

"And yours!" Erik pointed out smarmily.

Christine had been anticipating that reply and her repost hit Erik metaphorically right where it hurts, "Not really, when you banned our intimate moments for several months last year, I learnt I also enjoy reading a book and drinking hot chocolate!" she pointed out, grinning.

Erik pouted, "You do not fight fair woman!" he grumbled,

"And I wonder who it was that taught me that trick?" Christine asked rhetorically tapping her index finger on her bottom lip,

Erik was about to pose another argument, when Christine looked at the clock in the bedroom and gasped, "talking of fair, it would not be fair of me to be late for Madame Giry's coffee morning!" Christine declared as she dashed towards her dressing room.

ooo

With Raoul tucked up in bed and a fresh smelling Erik on his way to work, Meredith and Christine joined Meg, Delphine and Madame Giry for Coffee.

Meg, Christine and Madame Giry were chatting about the previous day's rehearsals and the fact that they were grateful that only the orchestra were required for today allowing them a nice day off. Delphine was listening and Meredith was sitting quietly not really listening, her thoughts back with an unwell Raoul.

"Is not the story of Faust pretty much similar to Don Juan?" Delphine asked as Meg poured a second cup of coffee for everyone.

"It is!" replied Christine, "that is why the managers have decided to put on a smaller production first!" she finished taking a sip of her coffee.

Meg giggled, "Yes indeed, they have acquired the Offenbach operetta 'Orpheus in the Underworld' and I for one cannot wait, we start rehearsals next week for it and it has a fantastically naughty dance in it!" Meg continued with a grin. "The notorious 'Gallop Infernal', Maman has already started working with Bernadette regarding the costumes for that scene!" Meg ended with another giggle, as Madame Giry nodded.

"Good grief!" Delphine sniggered, "the Opera Garnier putting on such a provocative piece, What I would give to dance that gallop!" she retorted with a smirk.

Meredith sighed, and all attention moved to the now forlorn looking Vicomtess. "Right now, I would give anything to have Raoul well again," Meredith murmured.

The chatter ceased immediately, "What has happened?" Christine asked as she placed her hand on Meredith's arm supportively.

"He has a cold that is getting worse!" Meredith replied looking worried, "He is currently bed bound and not getting any better," she sighed.

"Is he taking his medicine?" Madame Giry asked, as Christine and the other ladies looked on concerned.

"No!" Meredith replied as she looked at Christine, "He hates taking medicine, says it tastes nasty!"

"I would have thought that now he has found true love he would be willing to take better care of himself!" Christine stated, all too well aware of Raoul's dislike of medicine.

"True love?" questioned Meredith, "What made you think that true love would make a man take better care of himself?" she asked, genuine curiosity in her eyes.

The most stubborn and unhealthy man I had ever met is now my husband!" Christine declared honestly, "He hardly slept, hardly ate and drank like a fish" she continued, "Now he has true love he sleeps properly eats properly and has seriously reduced his alcohol intake, he has a reason to take better care of himself." She finished.

"I see what you mean!" Meredith agreed, "Raoul has reduced his partying and his fatty food intake and now has at least one healthy walk a day, when he is not in bed ill!" Meredith announced, "But I still cannot get him to take medicine… It would take a magician to do that." She finished with a sigh.

"A magician… Humm!" Christine replied with a sly smile, "I have just the person!" she declared brightly, "this is a job for my Erik!"

"Erik is a magician?" Meredith asked dubiously, "I thought he was an architect?"

Christine grinned before declaring, "I will let Madame Giry explain,"

Meg looked at her mother as Madame Giry put her cup down and held one hand up as she ticked off on her fingers a few details about the former Phantom. "Architect, Musician, Composer, Ventriloquist, Magician!" she sighed "I shall run out of fingers before Erik runs out of talents!" she finished, before turning back to Meredith, "Enough about Christine's husband. What medicine is Raoul not taking? She asked,

"Onion Syrup!" Meredith replied,

"Onion Syrup…That is for children!" Madame Giry pointed out.

"I know but he would not even consider the Garlic syrup his doctor suggested!" Meredith responded frustration clear in her voice. "Even the Goose grease and brown paper makes him think of sautéed potatoes!" she groaned, "But I thought he would at least try the onion syrup." She finished.

Christine shuddered, "Garlic ugh!" she grumbled under her breath.

Christine's remark was not quite quiet enough and Meg heard her, "Why Christine, what have you got against garlic?" she asked.

"I personally have nothing against garlic, just my husband eating large quantities of it!" Christine moaned, "he should have given his garlic to Raoul," she finished with a huff, but it was too late, all eyes were on her expecting an explanation.

"Do tell?" Meredith asked keen for a diversion from her worries about Raoul.

"When I first met Erik, that first night I vanished," Christine started, "His music was entrancing and I did not notice anything untoward, however the following morning, when I awoke, I noticed there was this strange smell." She continued, "Suffice to say it reminded me of the smell of death, and it scared me. Anyway, it was not until the morning after the night of Don Juan Triumphant, that I finally got the answer." She finished handing her cup back to Madame Giry for a refill.

"And?" Meg pushed,

"and…" Christine started taking her refilled coffee cup back from Madame Giry, "I found Erik in the music room, hiding down the side of his pipe organ with a jar in his hand." Christine continued before sipping her coffee.

"A jar of what?" Meg demanded!

"Meg patience!" Madame Giry barked, before turning to Christine, "What was in the jar?" she asked,

"Torshi Seer!" Christine answered, knowing full well that her reply would irritate and infuriate Meg. Madame Giry just grinned.

"What on earth is that?" Meg questioned, "Chilled monkey brains?" her voice betraying her frustration.

Christine grinned, "No spiced pickled raw garlic, Persian style! It appears that before they left Persia, Nadir got my husband addicted to Pickled Garlic to help him get rid of another bad habit!" she finished, the look at Meg defied her to ask in front of everyone, what the other habit was. Thankfully Meg got that message loud and clear.

"So why was Erik hiding behind his pipe organ eating pickled Garlic?" Meredith asked now completely fascinated.

"He was nervous, and the garlic helped calm him, but he thought I would disgusted that he was addicted to the stuff as it was rather pungent!" Christine replied with a tender smile, "it took a little time, but I managed to wean him off the garlic and he no longer smelt horrible," she added before her expression changed to one of annoyance, "That was until last night!" her tone becoming angry, "He sat at home and ate half a large garlic stuffed salami!" she growled, "Claimed he was just slicing lumps off and eating them without noticing how much he ate as he read the newspaper!" she continued as the other ladies tried to hide smirks.

"Oh dear!" Madame Giry winced,

"My whole house smells of Second hand Garlic" Christine complained bitterly.

The ladies sat in silence for a moment, then Madame Giry piped up, "I have a plan, first we visit a florist to help Christine remove the garlic from her house, then Christine can you get Erik to come up with a plan to get Raoul to take his medicine and get better, then we can all be happy again!" she finished with a smile.

"I like that idea!" Meg declared as Delphine and Meredith nodded their agreement.

With that the ladies finished their coffee and set off to the nearest florist.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is the second Part of the Chapter.**

 **Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

A Cute Fat Cherub Paddywhack.

As the ladies were purchasing half the blooms in Paris to remove the smell of Garlic from the lake house; back at Angel Architecture, Nadir was trying to concentrate on the accounts; and was not succeeding, since a constant stream of loudly grumbled curses in several languages was emanating from Erik's office. Erik had been in a foul mood since he read a letter, that morning, from a client asking for some very un-Erik style additions to his commission and like a true Diva, after throwing a massive tantrum, Erik was still not taking it very well. However, the client was paying a princely fee, so Erik was not so stoically making changes to the design to incorporate the new requests.

It was when Erik returned to cussing in Persian for the third time in half an hour, that Nadir gave up and getting up from his desk went to attempt to quieten the cussing so he could concentrate.

Opening the door to Erik's office however, left Nadir adding his own curse words to the situation when the stench of excess cologne and second hand Garlic assailed his nose.

Taking a step back from the now open door to Erik's office, Nadir spluttered "Good grief, this office smells like a mortuary in the middle of summer!" he declared, tears forming in his eyes as he held his handkerchief to his nose.

"What are you moaning about now you puerile Persian?" Erik grumbled as with his back to Nadir he scribbled some calculations on the side of the drawing on his drafting table.

"Just how much of that salami did you eat yesterday?" Nadir mumbled suspiciously through his handkerchief, as Erik continued with his calculations, before slamming his pen down.

"What are you muttering?" Erik demanded as he turned around.

"I said…" Nadir started, stopping as he actually took in the mess that was once Erik's office, "What the hell?" Nadir yelled, "Another temper tantrum Erik?" Nadir questioned.

"Erik does not have temper tantrums!" was the vehement response.

"What would you call this?" Nadir asked waving his unoccupied hand around the disaster zone, "Books and plans thrown every where and that ink will not come out of the curtains!" he cried.

Erik surveyed the same scene, "I had an architectural outburst, caused by the stupid request of the client to have cute fat cherubs carved into nearly every piece of stone work!" he retorted with a grimace.

"Fat cherubs did not wreak this office!" Nadir pointed out, "Nor do they smell like they marinated in cologne with a large dose of Garlic!"

Erik drew himself up to his full height and turned to face his friend full on, his arms ominously folded over his chest, "What is it with everyone and my eating garlic! Are you suggesting I stink?"

"Of course not!" Nadir replied fervently,

"Good!" Erik responded, his honour satisfied with Nadir's seeming assurance,

"I am telling you that you stink!" Nadir added.

If the look in Erik's eyes at Nadir's remark could have gotten any sourer it would have curdled milk… in Belgium.

"We had this discussion after the first time you kidnapped your wife and she complained about the horrid smell, you cannot eat large amounts of garlic and remain a sociable person!" Nadir complained bitterly.

"Since when have I ever been a sociable person?" Erik retorted,

"You have a point there!" Nadir responded.

ooo

Back in the main office, not only the sounds of another bickering session but also the pungent aroma had reached Gilen's desk and with a handkerchief over his nose the clerk left his work and crossing the room he silently shut the door to Erik's office and went to resume his paperwork.

The front door of the office opened, and a happy looking Thomas entered, "Eww what is that smell?" he asked as Gilen looked up to greet him.

"Monsieur Erik has eaten too much garlic!" Gilen answered before returning to his work.

Thomas listened for a moment, "I take it they are bickering again?" he asked.

Gilen nodded as he finished what he was doing, and putting his pen down, looked up, "Yes they started about three minutes ago," he informed Thomas, as both young men listened.

"Are they really arguing about… Garlic?" Thomas asked,

"Yes," Gilen replied as he got up, "Coffee?" he asked, heading off to the kitchen in the back.

"Yes please!" Thomas answered

ooo

The two young men sat and listened to the continuing bickering match in Erik's private office whilst sipping their coffee, when Thomas piped up, "They sound like an old married couple!"

Gilen sniggered, "I agree, Monsieur Nadir really should be called Madame Nadir!" he replied with a chuckle.

"Absolutely!" Thomas agreed, "Madame Nadir and Monsieur Erik," he continued as Gilen sniggered.

Unbeknownst to Thomas and Gilen; who were so wrapped up in their comparisons of their bosses as a married couple, a nagging wife and an unrepentant husband; neither of them noticed that the bickering in the other room had ceased, and their bosses had actually opened the office door and were both standing there in the doorway, silently listening to their apprentice and office clerk making fun of them.

Emptying his coffee cup, Thomas stood up, "Another coffee Gilen?" he asked,

"Yes please, then I have some letters to deliver," Gilen replied, before sniggering again, "I can just see Madame Nadir with a Rolling pin waiting to clump Monsieur Erik around the ear for coming back to the office late!" he described with a laugh.

Thomas started to laugh with Gilen, both of them picturing the nagging that Erik would receive. Turning round Thomas then spied Erik and Nadir glowering at him and Gilen. "Erm…Oops!" Thomas groaned.

Gilen looked up wonder what the reason was for Thomas's groan, and found he was staring into two very annoyed golden eyes, "Oh No!" he declared.

Erik and Nadir looked at each other, "Well my dear wife, it appears the children are misbehaving, what do you suggest?" Erik asked,

"Well I always heard spare the rod and spoil the child, husband!" Nadir replied.

Thomas and Gilen looked at each other nervously, each picturing being thrown over their bosses knee and being caned.

"I think I had better go and deliver those letters!" Gilen stated fear evident in his voice.

Thomas placed the coffee cups on Gilen's desk, "I think I shall help you!" he responded as both young men moved like lightning grabbing their coats and the bundle of letters and running full pelt out of the front door of the office leaving Erik and Nadir laughing at the speed of their departure.

"I think that is the last time they will make fun of us!" Erik declared, still laughing,

"I have to agree with that!" Nadir replied wiping a tear of laughter from his face, "I have never seen the pair of them so scared!" he finished before sniffing and grimacing, "and you still need to go home and get rid of the garlic odour!" Nadir finished.

"You nag worse than my real wife!" Erik grumbled.

"I shall tell your real wife if you do not go home!" Nadir declared, "Do not come back until the garlic has gone!" he finished vehemently.

"Yes Dear!" Erik replied sarcastically,

"Your Christine really is a saint!" Nadir remarked with admiration, "If I was your wife, I would have asked for a divorce long ago, on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour!" he finished as Erik scowled.

"I could never be that desperate that I would ever marry you!" Erik pointed out before grabbing his cloak and Fedora, before stalking out of the office.

"Something I shall Always be grateful for!" Nadir retorted chuckling.

ooo

Meanwhile back at the lake house, the ladies had finished phase one, and sweet smelling flowers decorated every spare inch of table and desk. One large arrangement of spring Daisies, which dominated the downed top of Erik's grand piano, had caught Meg's attention.

"Those are beautiful!" she declared with a smile,

"Erik has brought me every flower I can think of over the years," Christine informed her smiling friend, "except daisies, he has never bought me these, and yet I so love their little smiley yellow faces, so much like sunshine," Christine finished, as she smiled back.

"Ahh! it certainly smells nicer in here!" Madame Giry exclaimed taking a deep breath of floral scents instead of the second hand garlic that lingered before the ladies brought the flowers in.

"Where is the garlic that caused all the issues?" Meredith enquired.

Christine walked back to the front door and lit a lamp, "Follow me ladies and do not wander off!" Christine explained as she led the curious ladies to the outside of the house and the small area to the side of the lake.

"Erik thinks I do not know about his little hiding place, but the absence of spiders, tells me that the salami is hidden in this old meat locker." Christine declared as she opened the door to the locker.

"Good grief that is pungent!" Delphine declared stepping back,

"That is just what Raoul needs, A good strong dose of Garlic!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Meg Giry if you deliberately step on that raised stone and set off another trap on me, by all that is holy you will regret it!" Madame Giry yelled as Meg grinned and moved away from the small insignificant stone that clearly indicated another of Erik's traps.

"How many traps are there?" Meredith asked, as Christine shut the door to the locker.

Seventy four are left, two have been disabled since Meg set them off on her mother," Christine replied, as she turned to head back to the house.

There was much shuffling as five ladies realised that large gowns with bustles are not the best clothing for confined spaces, each lady was trying not to bump the others into the lake when a loud click was heard, which was rapidly followed by Madame Giry yelping, vanishing from sight with a splash, shortly followed by cussing more splashing and Madame Giry now dripping wet reappearing by the front of the house using the dock to try to climb out of the lake.

"Oh No!" Christine declared "who stepped on that stone?" she asked as the remaining ladies lifted their skirts to see whose foot did the deed.

"Oops! Sorry it was me!" Meredith declared, as she gingerly lifted her foot from the offending stone, with this the now missing section of the flooring reset itself and remained looking innocently like it had never moved. Meg bit the sleeve of her dress to refrain from laughing out loud, as the other ladies sniggered.

Madame Giry's voice echoed around the cavern, "When you lot have quite finished laughing, get me out of this lake!" she yelled, as Christine and the other ladies dashed to her aid.

ooo

It was quite a sight that greeted Erik's eyes as he rounded the corner of the lake from the Rue Scribe gate, Christine assisted by Delphine, Meredith and Meg were valiantly attempting to remove a soggy Madame Giry from the water. With little resistance Erik instructed the ladies to move out of the way as with a small effort on his part he wrapped his arms around Madame Giry's waist and removed her from her soggy location, before carrying her dripping into the hall of the house. Meg followed her mother and Erik, carrying Madame's cane which she had fished from the waters before it floated away.

As Christine dashed off to fetch towels for those who were wet, Erik placed Madame Giry back on her feet. Profuse thanks from Madame was interspersed with a lot of coughing.

"Maman, you cannot have caught a cold already?" Meg asked as Christine handed out the towels and Meredith went into the kitchen with Delphine to make some hot tea.

Madame Giry was so desperately trying to be polite considering Erik had just rescued her, but the now wet garlic smell was overpowering as she stood right next to him.

"Erm no," Madame Giry answered her daughter, "the cold water took my breath away." She finished as Christine wrapped a towel around her former Ballet Mistress.

"Are you okay Madame Giry?" Erik asked as Christine gave him a towel and he placed it over his shoulders.

Madame Giry nodded trying not to breath in the garlic odour. "How did you end up in the lake?" he asked, as Christine sniffed the air and realised the Garlic was back.

"Erik, we can discuss what happened later but right now you and Madame need to get into a hot bath!" Christine explained before realising that everyone had gone silent, Meredith and Delphine were poking their heads out of the kitchen door, Meg was shaking with repressed laughter and staring at the floor and Erik had a look of abject horror in his eyes, whereas Madame Giry's eyebrows had left her face and were somewhere in her chignon.

Her face turning a deep red Christine quickly corrected herself "Erik go and have a shower, Madame Giry I shall run you a hot bath in my dressing room!"

Meg handed her mothers cane back, "I shall get maman some fresh clothes from her apartment," she declared dashing out of the house a trail of raucous laughter following her.

"Ladies if you will excuse me!" Erik asked as with a blatant shudder he vanished into the bedroom.

ooo

With everyone clean and dry, tea was served. Meg, Delphine and Madame Giry sat with Christine chatting as Erik sat and listened to Meredith explaining about Raoul and how ill he was.

Asking a few questions to clarify some aspects Erik nodded sagely. "Right so he will not take medicine but will imbibe alcohol, and he has no sense of smell so I could trick him into taking some garlic medicine!" Erik reiterated, as Meredith nodded eagerly.

Erik thought for a moment before standing up suddenly, "I have just the thing!" he brightly declared, "it will mean a sacrifice on my part, but it will work!" he finished as he strode to the liquor cabinet and retrieved a dark green bottle.

"Karlsbader Becherbitter?" Meg asked as she read the label on the bottle,

"Yes, a perfect disguise for my herbal cold and flu remedy!" Erik pointed out as Meredith grinned,

"Erik, You had one glass of it and decided you hate that drink; that is why it is still in the cabinet, where is the sacrifice in that?" Christine asked,

"This is only phase one, the second phase is a plentiful supply of Garlic in an appealing format, that is the sacrifice!" Erik replied sadly.

Christine could not help the grin appearing on her face, "Wonderful you are going to give Raoul the other half of your salami!" she exclaimed.

"There is no need to be happy at your husband's loss!" Erik responded morosely.

"I think we can safely say the only people that will be sad that the salami is leaving, apart from you Erik are the florists we emptied of flowers to remove the stench from this house!" Madame Giry glibly remarked, as Meg and Delphine sniggered.

"I am not even going to dignify that with a remark!" Erik grumbled as he stuck the nose of his mask in the air and vanished into the music room.

"Why is Erik going into the music room with a bottle of bitters?" Meg asked, a puzzled expression on her face.

"His laboratory where he keeps the herbal cure is hidden in the back of the music room!" Christine explained.

"I do not care if it is hidden in the managers office, as long as Raoul gets better!" Meredith pointed out as Christine refreshed the tea things.

ooo

As Erik passed through his music room, he briefly noted there were flowers on the top of his piano, and with a thought that he would remove them later for Christine's lesson, Erik entered his laboratory and set about mixing up a Raoul friendly cure.

ooo

With the flu remedy tea stewing, Erik was setting up the distillation system to reduce the water content in the finished tea, ready for it to be added to the bottle of bitters, when his eyes started to itch, followed shortly by what nose he had starting to run.

ooo

Christine had just bid fair well to the ladies as they left and was shutting the front door when a Ghostly "ACHOO!" echoed through the house. Dashing towards the sound Christine was met with a most peculiar sight, Erik was standing at the back of the music room, one hand pointing to the flowers on his piano, with his unmasked face covered by his other hand and a handkerchief as he once again sneezed.

"ACHOO! Are you… ACHOO! Trying to… ACHOO! Kill me… ACHOO! Off!" he demanded though sneezes, before clearing his nasal passages and glaring through, red rimmed watery eyes at his stunned wife.

"What do you mean trying to kill you off?" Christine asked, "And why are you pointing at my daisies?"

"I… I… ACHOO! React specifically to Daisies!" Erik grumbled.

"Oh, that is why you have never bought me daisies!" Christine exclaimed looking ashamed. "I thought it was because you did not like them." She added as she grabbed the daisies off the top of Erik's piano and turned to head to the front door, "I shall leave them in my dressing room for tonight and give them to Madame Giry in the morning!" Christine finished as she dashed out of the music room flowers in hand, to a chorus of sneezing.

Grabbing her cloak and once again apologising to her beleaguered husband Christine left him still sneezing as she took the blighted daisies up to her dressing room.

Back in the music room Erik blew his excuse for a nose once more, "Great now I have to concoct a remedy for my reaction just so I can finish the remedy for the Vicomte", he grumbled as with another sneeze he sloped back to his laboratory.


	5. Chapter 5

**The follow on from the last two chapters.**

 **Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **Please Note: In the last chapter I did not mean to imply that Erik was cured of his opium addictions using Garlic, He went through the same 'Cold Turkey' everyone else does if they come off opium addiction (Since it is both a Physical addiction and a psychological addiction.) But like most people when clean, there is still a need for something to occupy the mind when stressed, even if he cannot access the drugs, and an antsy Erik will annoy a calm Nadir so one afternoon just before they left Persia, (after Erik dried out!) Nadir got so fed up with Erik's anxious pacing that he went and grabbed a jar of Torshi Seer from his kitchen and thrust it at Erik and told him to "Eat that if you are anxious you are NOT getting any more drugs!" and so a new and safer addiction was born.**

 **(Thank you starwatcher2018 for pointing out my grievous error!)**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

Take One Vicomte add Generous Garlic and Allow to Stew.

Christine took the sensible option and actually gave the daisies straight to Madame Giry; who was delighted with the arrangement and laughed when Christine explained what had happened.

Meanwhile Erik had concocted and drunk the anti-daisy medicine and as his symptoms subsided was carefully watching the distillation of the flu remedy whilst trying not to scratch the now fading rash that was also caused by his wife's dangerous daisies.

It was just as Erik was scratching his neck, that Christine came back in, "Erik! My goodness you are covered in a rash! Stop scratching it!" Christine exclaimed dashing over to grab his hand from his neck.

"it is merely a urticaric rash caused by your daisies," Erik grumbled as he lowered his hand and turned off the Bunsen Burner under the now empty flask that had held the flu remedy in its original form.

"I am so sorry," Christine apologised again, "Let me get some of my skin balm to soothe the itch away," she called as she released his hand and shot off to her dressing room, coming back moments later with a jar of pale pink balm which she opened and scooping a small amount out, started to gently rub it into the rash on Erik's neck.

"Is that feeling better?" she asked, as she finished rubbing the balm in.

"mmm Much better!" Erik declared, as he took his jacket off and scratched at his left arm.

"Oh, no you do not! Stop scratching!" Christine ordered as she peeled back Erik's shirt sleeve to see the rash and taking more balm from the jar, she started to rub it in.

Erik was enjoying his wife's ministrations and the balm was stopping the itching, so a naughty thought crossed his mind and with his free hand he started the scratch his chest.

"Erik just take the shirt off!" Christine instructed, removing yet more balm from the jar.

"I itch everywhere!" Erik sighed, as he removed his shirt and hid a little grin at the thought of Christine rubbing the balm all over his body, especially certain parts.

ooo

Quite a while later, as Christine stared at the now empty jar of balm, "Well that is one way to relieve itching!" she declared with a smile as she finished buttoning up her bodice.

"A most wonderous way, Angel," Erik replied as he kissed her, before buttoning up his trousers, and replacing his shirt.

"Erik?" Christine called as her eyes located the beaker containing the distilled flu remedy, which now looked like a greenish sludge. "Are you really going to make Raoul drink that?" she asked.

Erik had just finished tucking his shirt in as he wandered over to where Christine was standing, "that is only part of the remedy as some of the herbs were already present in the bitters, so I would not make anyone drink the contents of that beaker as it is, unless I wanted them to consider living attached to a water closet for several day… Humm! What an idea!"

"Erik do not be mean!" Christine chided, "Poor Raoul is ill enough without you giving him a rotten tummy as well!" Christine pointed out as Erik grinned evilly.

"I was joking angel," Erik responded as he wandered over to a small sink at the side of the laboratory and washed his hands, before returning to the table picking up the beaker and staring at its contents. "Perfect, now I need to mix in a reasonable amount of honey and then combine with the bitters and we have a Vicomte friendly remedy!" he finished as he reached for a jar of golden honey which was sitting beside the bottle of bitters.

"Wonderful!" Christine exclaimed as she turned to leave the laboratory, I shall get us some supper, since I think a good meal is due, before you head off to sort out Raoul. She declared before kissing Erik's cheek and heading off to the kitchen.

ooo

Having gathered everything, he thought he might need, it was nearly eight o'clock at night as Erik set off to the Chateau de Chagny. The tinkle of the clock in the main hallway indicated that it had just turned ten o'clock as Erik knocked on the front door of the chateau to be met with a harried looking Louis.

"Thank the heavens you are here!" Louis exclaimed looking like he was about to hug the bemused masked visitor.

"Louis?" Meredith called as she came towards the front door, "Is it Monsieur Erik?" she asked as pulled the door open wider, grinning with relief when she saw Erik standing there a puzzled look in his eyes.

"Raoul shot Louis!" Meredith explained "He ran a high temperature and fever a couple of hours ago and was hallucinating about cats, when Louis came through the bedroom door with some broth, next thing I knew Raoul yelled 'get out cat!' and Louis nearly made it out of the door when the gun went off." Meredith then produced the navy revolver from her gown where she had hidden it. "Raoul was happy he had shot the cat and Louis required Monsieur Proloux to dress a wound on his rear." She finished, before turning to face Louis. "Please go and get some rest Louis, Monsieur Erik will take care of my husband now and you have had quite the time of it." she instructed.

Louis nodded appreciatively and with a wince turned clutching one buttock and hobbled off.

ooo

Erik and Meredith headed up the stairs, "I cannot believe that your husband shot his valet in the arse!" Erik said with a snigger.

"I can, that is why I have confiscated the revolver." Meredith answered, "I have to admit that once Raoul has recovered and Louis has healed, I will probably find it amusing, but not right now." She finished as they reached the door to Raoul's bedroom.

"Is there any other weapons or items that can be thrown within reach of your husband?" Erik enquired.

"Only the chamber pot," Meredith answered as she opened the door.

Erik stopped and stared at the Vicomtess, "Not full I hope?" he asked,

"The last job Louis did before you arrived!" Meredith answered as she stepped inside, and Erik followed her.

Raoul was huddled up under a mound of bedding and looked miserable, his red nose glowed, and his bedding was strewn with handkerchiefs.

"Hello!" he mumbled, before starting to cough hard as Erik took a seat near the fireplace, before reaching into the saddle bag he had brought with him.

"You came by horse?" Meredith asked,

"It is rather a long walk," Erik replied conversationally,

"I meant, where is your horse?" Meredith asked, as Raoul tried to snigger but coughed even more instead.

"Loose in the front grounds of the Chateau, do not worry he does not wander off. Probably eating some of your bedding plants, he does love spring pansies!" Erik answered as he pulled the bottle of 'Vicomte medicine' out followed by a tin mug, a knife and the salami, all of which he placed on the small table beside his chair. Then he reached into his cloak and removed a small jar which he handed to Meredith.

"What is this?" Meredith asked as she looked at the pale yellow balm inside.

"A skin balm very good for when your mask rubs and makes your skin sore," Erik responded, "I created it myself, It also works on noses sore from blowing!" he added pointedly.

"Oh!" Meredith remarked turning to Raoul she took the lid off and handed the jar to her husband, "Erik says try this darling!" she cooed as behind her back Erik pulled a face, and Raoul started spluttering again.

"I think you should rest dearest!" Raoul muttered as he spread some of the balm on his nose. "Men talk and such will be boring for you and I do not want you ill!" he finished before blowing his nose. "Ahh! Much better!" he replied before putting more balm on.

Meredith shook her head fondly at him, "very well I will rest but please call if you need anything either of you!" she stated before leaving the two men to their own devices.

With the door shut Erik winced, he could now clearly hear Raoul breathing, a slight wheeze hardly noticeable but it was there. Reaching into his cloak he pulled out a wooden tube like a trumpet with an ear piece on one end. Then removing his cloak and Fedora, he approached Raoul.

Please lift up your shirt Vicomte!" Erik instructed, "I wish to listen to your breathing with this." Here he flourished the device. Raoul looked wary as he followed Erik's instructions.

"Am I going to die, Doctor?" Raoul asked with some levity until the cough came back.

Erik waited until the cough receded and then listened, keeping his features neutrally schooled. There it was the slight bubbling that indicated the potential start of pneumonia. Erik hoped in his thoughts that he had got there in time to halt the infection. "No unfortunately," Erik replied sarcastically as he rallied his thoughts and his plan of action.

Encouraging Raoul to cover up and keep warm, Erik next opened the bottle and had poured a generous amount into the mug and was just replacing the stopper when Raoul interrupted his apparent train of thought.

"Nice manners I must say!" Raoul commented "Comes to see me, because I am ill and brings himself a drink and a snack, would you care to share?" he remarked as Erik used the knife to cut a chunk of salami.

"Of course!" Erik replied smoothly, "I only did not offer because You most likely will not like the drink it is a strong herbal alcohol from Prussia, and the sausage is an Italian salami!" Erik added as Raoul held out one hand for the mug.

Taking the mug, Raoul quickly took a swig and coughed, "It is very warming and sweet!" he commented as the mixture seemed to settle his cough quickly, then he held out his other hand, "Now hand over the salami chunk!"

Erik repressed a grin, his plan was working, Raoul was so socially affronted that his guest brought himself food and drink and did not seem inclined to share with his host, that he was not paying attention to what he was drinking, and as Raoul took the chunk of salami Erik proffered, Erik knew that it was only a case of ensuring that Raoul finished the bottle of drink and the garlic salami during the course of the night and he would hopefully be on the mend.

The clock on the bedroom mantle told Erik it was just after one in the morning and Raoul had already drink a third of the bottle and a reasonable portion of the salami, when Erik's earlier observations became curiosity and he had to ask.

"I got the impression from Meredith that you were at death's door!" Erik remarked as Raoul bit into another piece salami and chewed thoughtfully.

Swallowing the mouthful and chasing it with more of the drink, Raoul grinned weakly, "I am not feeling at my best but, I fear my darling is fussing somewhat." Raoul informed his guest.

Erik nodded sagely, "Yes it seems that once married, women are predisposed to nag and worry in regard to their husbands… Hang on a minute, if you are not as ill as Meredith is making out, why were you hallucinating enough to injure your valet?" Erik suddenly asked.

"I was not hallucinating!" Raoul answered, "I detest medicine and will not take it, I was sipping a glass of brandy that Louis had given me when I stopped to blow my nose, I had a few seconds in which I could smell before my nose blocked up and during those seconds, I went to sip my brandy and it stunk of onions!" he continued, "I was annoyed enough he was covertly giving me the medicine I told him and my wife I would not take but he spiked my best brandy!" Raoul complained with a sneeze.

"So, you shot him?" Erik questioned, "I have to admit, it is something I probably would consider in the same situation!"

"As soon as I had realised what he had done I told the cad to get out' grabbed my revolver and went to shoot him!" Raoul finished looking indignant.

"You shot him in the arse!" Erik pointed out, "I see your firearms skills have not improved!"

Raoul huffed then gave a less violent cough, "Whatever, pass the bottle and do not drink it all yourself!" he ordered as Erik smiled and handed Raoul the bottle.

Some more salami also if you do not mind!" Raoul requested as he filled the mug up.

"So that is why Meredith confiscated your revolver?" Erik had to know the answer to this and was all ears as he cut another piece of salami and handed it to Raoul.

"Well she did not confiscate it straight away, but I also knew that I was in trouble, so I was pretty panicky as I heard her running down the corridor," Raoul started before taking another swig and a bite of salami. Swallowing his mouthful, he continued, "So I started tossing and turning in bed and by the time she reached my room I looked like I was in a fever so she snatched the gun out of my hand and declared I was hallucinating and could not be held responsible for my accidental shooting of my valet. I got away with it, but only just." Raoul finished as Erik started to laugh.

"It seems I am starting to rub off on you!" Erik said between laughs.

"Right now, the only aspect of you I want to rub off on me is your innate ability to survive!" Raoul mumbled morbidly.

Erik sobered up quickly and stopped laughing, "Lift your night shirt again, I want to listen to your breathing!" he instructed and waited patiently whilst Raoul complied.

Listening carefully to Raoul's breathing, Erik could swear that the bubbling was slightly reduced, and more air was getting into his lungs. He was just about to remove his ear and the listening device when Raoul coughed, and nearly deafened Erik.

"Ow!" Erik yelped as he shot back, "Kindly control your coughing!" he grumbled as Raoul grabbed one of the handkerchiefs and coughed into it.

Finishing the latest coughing fit, Raoul grinned weakly, "I was just thinking," he started, "I never could have imagined you and I alone in my bedroom and you lifting my shirt!" he finished with another grin.

Erik took a few seconds to realise what Raoul had implied, then his eyes shot wide open with horror and he shuddered, "One thing I never have been and never will be is a shirt lifter!" Erik declared, "I am a one woman man!" he finished, with a grimace before pointing a finger towards the bottle on the night stand beside Raoul and added "I think you need more to drink and fill that mouth with salami instead of disgraceful ideas!" he finished as Raoul followed the instructions and poured another mug of the mixture and took another chunk of salami that Erik offered him.

Silence ensued for a little while as Raoul drank the contents of his mug and ate the salami, before he broke the silence. "I feel rather sleepy now!" he declared softly with a yawn, before placing the mug on the night stand and snuggling down into bed.

"Rest now and we shall continue our discussions when you wake up!" Erik replied as he reached again into the saddle bag and produced a book which he opened and started to read.

"Will you read to me?" Raoul asked cautiously, "Christine says your reading voice is very soothing!" he added.

Erik looked up from his book a little surprised, however he started to read. "Once upon a Midnight dreary whilst I pondered weak and weary…"

Raoul lay in his bed and listened, Erik's voice may be soothing, but the poem he read was anything but, As Erik finished with a dramatic flourish, "And my soul from out that shadow, that lies floating on the floor… Shall be lifted Nevermore!"

"That was creepy!" Raoul declared with a shudder before yawning and snuggling even further into his warm bed.

"That was Poe!" Erik replied, "I suppose next time you will ask what I am reading before asking me to read it aloud!" he pointed out quietly as Raoul fell asleep.

ooo

The clock was showing quarter to three, when the thump of a book hitting the floor woke Erik from his unintentional nap. Glancing over at the lump in the bed that was Raoul, Erik sighed, picked up his book and then threw it at the part of the lump he estimated was Raoul's backside.

"Ow!" Raoul mumbled, as he sat up, "What hit me?" he asked blearily.

"Edgar Allen Poe!" Erik replied smoothly, as he took the listening tube from the table and stood up.

"He is in this room with us?" Raoul asked in a puzzled tone as he sat up.

"I threw my book at you to wake you up!" Erik replied, as he approached the bed.

"That was not a very nice way to wake me!" Raoul complained,

"You were expecting a Kiss, perhaps?" Erik asked sarcastically.

"No!" Raoul answered, "But I am expecting you to get out of my way, I need the bathroom!" Raoul continued as he struggled to get out from under all the bedding.

Erik stood back as Raoul finally freed himself from the sheets and stumbled hurriedly to the bathroom. It was a few moments before a much relieved Vicomte wandered back to his bed.

"Right I shall listen to your chest again!" Erik instructed, "Then more alcohol and more salami." He finished.

"Have you had some?" Raoul enquired,

"I had some when you fell asleep!" Erik replied as he waited for Raoul to lift his shirt.

The bubbling had definitely reduced and so had the wheezing. Raoul seemed to be breathing easier as well.

The rest of the night was spent with Raoul, drinking the bottle empty and finishing the salami, in between napping and Erik checking his breathing.

ooo

The sun was rising as Meredith knocked on her husband's bedroom door and was bid entrance by Erik to see him and Raoul playing poker using the bed as a table for the cards.

"Good Morning Meredith!" Erik greeted as Raoul laid his cards on the bed and huffed.

"Good morning Darling," Raoul started, "I fold, you win!" he added as Meredith came over to see her husband sitting up in bed and looking better than he had in days.

"I am so happy to see you looking better!" Meredith cooed as she came over to the bed and bent to kiss Raoul's forehead, before coughing and standing up quickly. "What does Erik win?" she asked curiously.

"The unfortunate right to have your husband annoying me for many more years to come!" Erik replied glibly, as he stood up and picked up his now empty saddle bag, cloak and Fedora and made to leave, when Meredith stopped him.

"Thank you so much for what you have done!" she gushed, "Would you care for some breakfast before you leave? She asked.

"Thank you but no," Erik replied, "I have a wife who most likely thinks I have run away, I would very much like to get home and rest properly." He added. Turning to Raoul, Erik gave his final instructions. "A hot bath, fresh bedding and rest for a few more days and you will be back to fopping around in no time," he added before taking his leave.

Erik had the last laugh as he closed the bedroom door and was turning to leave when he heard Meredith's next words to her recovering husband.

"Dearest Raoul, I am so glad you are on the mend, but I have one problem," Meredith started.

"What is that my love?" Raoul asked, concern in his voice.

"You absolutely stink of second hand Garlic!" Meredith complained.


	6. Chapter 6

**Life caught up with me again, Apologies.**

 **With special thanks to Sid Colin the scriptwriter for the film Up Pompeii for his inspiration for the 'Poem'**

 **Thank you for all the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

A Broken Heart does not a Pianist Make

"Agghh! NO! How many more times!" Erik yelled as his student stared at him wide eyed.

Erik sighed, it had been a trying week what with Raoul's illness and then getting rid of all the excess flowers in his own home, those wretched daisies and losing his beloved salami. For once in a long time, he needed some time to himself. It was only half past nine in the morning and so far, even his day off had been interrupted with someone else requesting his assistance.

This was a plea for help that Erik could just about understand and losing his temper would get him nowhere. However, it did not stop him from regretting ever agreeing to teach this student to play the piano. This was definitely not what he had planned on doing with a Christine free Saturday.

Another deep sigh as he thought about the fact that Christine had left him at seven that morning and was out with Meg and Meredith at the dress makers, the ladies were arranging for their summer wardrobes and Erik had himself planned to spend the day starting his latest musical project, a new composition for Christine. Only to find his front door being thumped and his current student harassing him for piano lessons.

"Just watch me and then copy what you see me do!" Erik instructed as he leaned over and with one finger readied to start the melody again.

"Depress then release the middle C key twice then the G key to the right of it twice then the A key to the right next to it twice then back to the G key once again and keep practicing that until you can play it correctly!" Erik instructed with a huff as he again demonstrated the simple tune.

Erik listened as his pupil thumped away on the keys of his beloved piano, cringing with each harsh note, and he was holding his temper until his student asked, "How long until I can play the Moonlight Sonata?"

Erik took a deep breath, "I would be better teaching you the Piano Sonata 14 in C minor Opus 27 number 2 on a harp!" he acerbically retorted, "because at this rate you and I will both be dead by the time you finish 'Twinkle, twinkle little star'!"

"There is no need to be like that!" came his student's reply, "you said you could teach me to play the piano and here I am!"

Erik supressed a scream, "I did not mean I could teach you to play Beethoven in a week from scratch!"

"Ah, but you did not specify," His student retorted back.

Erik nearly screamed then gave up, "I do not think I can cope treating you like a student!" he grimaced, "Seriously Why…Why do you want to learn to play the piano now Daroga?" Erik pleaded throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

Nadir sighed, "I told you that I wanted to impress Delphine," Nadir explained before sighing again, "It is slightly more than that… I… I have royally upset my lovely lady and… well I want to apologise to her, and well music has always worked for you so…" Nadir finished the glass of brandy Erik had given him in one swig and suddenly with his bottom lip trembling, tears welling up in his eyes, Nadir looked like he was going to cry.

Erik stood up quickly and refilled his friend's glass, he had not seen Nadir this devastated since the death of his beloved first wife in Persia.

"Tell me exactly what happened," Erik instructed as Nadir cleared his throat and took another long swig of his refilled glass.

ooo

Half a decanter of Brandy later, Erik had finally managed to get the full story out of Nadir, and it was not good. Delphine had planned a surprise dinner for two and yesterday afternoon had sent Darius off to a hotel for the night as she planned to cook a romantic dinner and other things.

Nadir had gotten home after a rough day in the office and had expected a cup of tea ready for him as normal, had yelled for Darius when he found no tray waiting for him in the front room and when no Darius had appeared, a now grumpy Nadir had strode into the kitchen and without noticing that Delphine was by the stove instead of Darius, had launched into a full temper tantrum regarding lazy servants and his missing tea. This resulted in Delphine bursting into tears and rushing out of the apartment telling Nadir she never wanted to see his ungrateful hide again.

Erik stared at his now completely miserable friend, "Ah! Err, Um!" Erik's normally wide vocabulary failed him for once. "Of all the things to do, an impression of me is probably not the best thing… Urm…" Erik finished as he poured yet another treble brandy for Nadir and a single for himself.

Nadir drained his glass and reached into his jacket pocket, "I spent the night trying to write a poem to show her how much I love everything about her!" Nadir declared as he handed a folded sheet of paper to Erik.

Taking the paper and opening it, Erik read aloud, "I love her bosom, her knees so sweet, her thighs without a ripple, but most of all I love to lie with my lips upon her… cheek?"

"I could not think of anything to rhyme with ripple!" Nadir stated as he blew his nose.

Erik placed his masked face in one hand and sighed, ' _he is the only one who cannot find a rhyme!"_ Erik thought. "As wonderful as this poem is, I do not think it has quite the… erm… finesse you are looking for." Erik replied as he handed it back, "when did you write it?" he asked.

"After a bottle of arak in the very early hours of this morning," came Nadir's weak reply, as he dropped the poem on the couch beside him.

"You mean you were already tipsy when you thumped open my front door at eight am and all but demanded piano lessons!" Erik grumbled as he approached.

Nadir looked up from where he sat to see an extremely annoyed Erik towering over him, "S!" was all that would leave his lips at his now formidable friend.

"And you were intoxicated as you started banging away on my precious piano?" Erik demanded steam metaphorically pouring from his ears.

"S!" Nadir squeaked again.

Erik turned on his heel so suddenly it left Nadir feeling dizzy and stormed off towards the front door of the lake house. The door banged open and Erik returned.

"Right let us start this day again!" Erik declared as he picked up Nadir like he was a doll and slung him over his shoulder before marching out the front door to the shore of the lake. There he stopped and with a grunt hoisted Nadir off his shoulder and straight into the water.

A loud splash was followed shortly after with a familiar yell. "Erik you bastard, it is freezing in here!"

"Good!" Erik replied smugly, "now you have sobered up we can start sort out how to get you out of the mess you created."

ooo

Once Nadir had showered and donned some of his friend's fresh dry clothing, he and Erik sat down with coffee and started to work out how Nadir was going to apologise to his beloved. Alas it was not long before Nadir's lack of sleep and overindulgence start to catch up with him.

As Nadir yawned for the third time in ten minutes, Erik had had enough. "Go home and sleep off your excess, come back around three this afternoon, Christine will be back by then and I think a woman's touch will help solve this conundrum far better than just us two alone!" Erik declared as he physically foisted Nadir from the couch and handed him a bag with his wet clothes in it.

"Hey there is no need for the man handling!" Nadir protested as Erik pretty much carried him out of the house and up to the Rue Scribe gate, where he waited with the sleepy Persian until a carriage arrived and after loading his friend like luggage, giving the driver instructions and some coin for the trip, he waved goodbye to his latest interruption and headed back to the house and a welcome cup of tea.

ooo

Barely half an hour had gone past and a now mask less Erik was draped across his piano stroking the closed lid and apologising profusely to his beloved instrument for the rough treatment Nadir had metered out to it, when one of his alarms went off. Looking at the board the alarm was on the rue scribe path and very close to the house. "If that bloody maniac has returned to wreak my piano again, I shall really kill him this time!" Erik grumbled as he grabbed his mask placed it on followed by his cloak and Fedora and went to investigate.

Erik got quite the shock when he found a soggy Delphine sitting on the bank of the lake crying her eyes out.

ooo

Meanwhile in the streets of Paris, a now reasonably recovered Raoul was sitting well wrapped up, in his carriage as it wended towards the city centre, and a fitting of his summer suits with his tailor. Once that was complete, Raoul was contemplating dropping in to thank Erik for his herbal drink and… Although it caused a few ructions, the salami as well.

ooo

Down by the lake, Erik was helping a soaked and sobbing Delphine up off the bank and into the house.

"What happened?" Erik asked as he guided the still sobbing Delphine into the lake house and handed her a dry handkerchief.

"I have lost my fluffy tiger!" Delphine sobbed.

Erik was at a loss, not only had he never seen Delphine as the sort of lady that was prone to sobbing, but also his own experiences in India, meant that he knew tigers were not fluffy, they had wiry course fur and were rather too keen on biting.

"Your fluffy tiger?" Erik questioned as delicately as he could as he went to fetch Delphine a towel.

"Yes!" Delphine answered, "I so love to snuggle up to him at night because he is all fluffy!" she replied blowing her nose on her borrowed handkerchief.

Coming out of his bathroom with a towel in hand, Erik had to repress a snigger; Fluffy Tiger really? A vague memory indeed concurred, Nadir was rather hirsute. Once this was all sorted and the couple back together again, Nadir was never going to hear the end of this. Erik decided to change the name on the sign on his friends desk at work to read 'Fluffy Tiger, Business Partner'! Biting his lip to avoid laughing outright, he returned to the sitting room and wordlessly handed Delphine the towel.

After towel drying her hair, Delphine was still dripping, Erik felt he could not leave the lady in that state, but he also could not let her use Christine's dressing room, his angel would skin him alive and then leave him if she found out Erik had a naked woman that was not his wife in the house alone with him. Let alone try to borrow any of Christine's gowns for her. So, he did the only thing he could.

"I think that to prevent you catching a chill, I will run you a hot bath, alas, you will have to use my bathroom and borrow one of my outfits, until yours are dry," Erik explained as he escorted Delphine into his bathroom.

"I understand, I would not want to upset Christine, and she would mince me if she knew I was here alone with you… Where is she by the way?" Delphine asked casually.

"shopping for her spring wardrobe," he replied, as they entered the master bathroom.

"What is that?" Delphine asked pointing to the glass and tile panelled cubical.

"An invention I call it a shower!" Erik replied, "would you prefer to use that instead of the bath?" he asked as he reached in and turned the shower on.

"Oh!" Delphine declared with a small smile, the first since Erik had helped her from the lake shore, "Shower please!" She asked.

"Now I have something to ask?" Erik declared as he gathered a set of his own clothes for his guest and two more towels, "How did you end up in the lake?" he enquired.

Delphine sighed, "I was not looking where I was going and was so focused on getting to you to ask for help, that I miss stepped and fell in!" she replied tears welling up again.

"Dry your tears, and we shall talk after you have cleaned up!" Erik instructed her handing her one of the fresh towels to wipe her face with and taking his leave Erik left his sodden guest to her toilette.

Wandering into the kitchen to put the kettle on, Erik sighed, now instead of composing for his angel he was yet again playing relationship counsellor, not a role he ever though he was cut out for.

ooo

The Kettle was heating ready for some tea and Erik switched it off since by the sound of the shower running, Delphine was still in the bathroom. With nothing else to be done, Erik went to stoke the fire in the sitting room, realising as he bent down that he too was wet from assisting Nadir's beloved from the shore. Alas he could hardly walk in to his own bathroom and get changed.

Giving up on his plans for his day off, Erik took a seat by the fire, hoping that he could at least dry out a little before Delphine was ready to talk.

ooo

Erik was slowly loosing himself in his thoughts, the music beginning to sound in his inner ear again; aided by the rhythmic sounds of the water from the shower in his bathroom splashing on the surrounding cubical; when a knocking sound from the direction of his front door jarred him back to reality. Rising cautiously, Erik went to investigate the sound and as he opened the front door came face to face with one of the worst case scenarios he could imagine for this day.

The Vicomte de Chagny had popped down for a visit.

Erik stood trying to school his face into something other than a scowl behind the mask, but obviously his face was not interested in cooperating. Thankfully Raoul, thought the annoyed expression in Erik's eyes was simply because he had come down to the damp and cold cellars so shortly after his recent illness instead.

"What are you doing down here Vicomte?" Erik grumbled.

"Yes, I know I really should not be here, damp, cold and all that…" Raoul started raising his hands in apology, before he stopped short as he looked around, "Erik… Why is there water on your floor, and… you are all wet as well?" Raoul asked confusion on his face before he added, "Can I hear running water?"

Erik at that precise moment, metaphorically saw his happy marriage flash before his eyes, if Raoul discovered Delphine, Christine would be told very quickly, and she would rapidly ensure that her errant husband was first skinned alive before she left him The skinning alive Erik decided he could take, he had been through a similar experience before but Christine leaving him was a whole different matter, Erik's brain whirred as he found a suitable response.

"I have been making adjustments to an invention of mine called a shower!" Erik informed Raoul, "trying a new spray head," he finished, hoping the Vicomte would get the message and go away, especially before Delphine came out of the master bedroom.

"What is a shower?" Raoul enquired his face held an expression of keen interest.

"It is a new type of hygiene facility that I have created, designed to replicate a refreshing shower of rain, you stand under it and wash!" Erik explained, "but right now it is being tiresome, so I am redesigning it to work better." He added.

Raoul was intrigued, "That sounds amazing, may I see it?" he enquired enthusiastically.

"No!" Erik squeaked, before finding his voice, "I have not perfected it yet and it was leaking henceforth why I am wet, I do not want you getting cold and wet, if you take ill again, your wife will not be amused and she will tell my wife who will be annoyed with me…" Erik replied sternly, "If that happens…" he let the threat hang unspoken.

"Okay I get it!" Raoul responded a little sulkily, "it still does not explain the trail of water from the outside into your house," he continued.

Erik's already tenuous fuse was starting to burn short. Delphine could step out of the bedroom at any time and… Well he did not even want to imagine the results.

"It leaked, I got wet, I tore the head off the damn contraption and threw it into the lake," Erik growled "Then I calmed down and realised I still needed the wretched item, so I had to get it out of the lake henceforth the trail of water… And before you ask it has been refined and I am currently testing it again henceforth the running water!" Erik finished with a huff.

"Oh!" Raoul replied, Erik's temper still unnerved him especially when he was in this house, "I err... understand, I would love to see it when it is finished though," he added before remembering the reason he actually came here. "I actually came here to thank you for saving my life yet again!" Raoul stated, as he reached into his overcoat and pulled a bottle of brandy from the inner pocket. "Just a small gift to show my gratitude," Raoul stated as he handed Erik the bottle. "It is from my own private collection and a very fine vintage!" he added as Erik stared at the bottle.

Although the situation was still as risky, Erik felt a bit of a heel for being so sharp with his third guest for the day and managed a sickly smile, "Thank you very much Raoul," he choked, "however, if you fall ill again it will have been in vain." He added as he placed the bottle on the side table and went to show Raoul the door.

"I get it," Raoul said with a grin, "Never anger the wife!" he added with a snigger, "Very well I shall obey my Doctors orders and head home… Thank you again, Erik." Raoul finished as he grabbed Erik's hand and shook it before taking his leave.

Erik could not help the massive sigh of relief as he shut the front door, turning to find Delphine standing in the front room dressed in one of his outfits. "I thought I had better wait until Raoul left before making an appearance, also I could not turn off your shower," Delphine said as she took a seat on the couch.

"Thank you!" Erik replied gratefully as he headed off, first to the bathroom to turn off the afore mentioned shower and then into the kitchen to make some tea.

ooo

Tea was made and served before Erik listened as Delphine explained her version of that disastrous evening, she downplayed Nadir's outburst and tried to take the whole blame, but Erik was having none of it.

"Do not blame yourself entirely!" Erik responded when Delphine had finished explaining. "The Daroga can be a frightful arse especially when you prevent him getting his first cup of tea after work. That does not however remove the need for manners, something he has moaned at me for many times. It looks like he should take some of his own advice." Erik added sagely.

"So, how should I apologise… you know him better than I?" Delphine asked nervously knotting another of Erik's handkerchiefs in her fingers.

Erik choked before answering her, "I for one never advocate apologising to the Daroga when he has been a Great Booby!" he informed Delphine before continuing, "However, Christine has always said her papa told her that when people who love each other have a disagreement they need to talk about it first before apologising."

"Does that work?" Delphine asked, looking hopefully at Erik.

Erik though for a moment, "Yes it does work, Christine insists on it when we argue!" Erik explained, before he added, "but the best person to ask is Christine."

"When is she due home?" Delphine enquired.

Erik thought for a moment more, an idea coalesced in his head, "About half past three, I suggest we get you a carriage so you can go home and change and if you come back about half past three, we can all sit down and sort this out." Erik pointed out as he stood up and went to take Delphine's now empty tea cup from her.

"Have you seen Nadir today?" Delphine asked as Erik bundled up her wet clothes and found a basket to put them in.

"Not yet, but I am sure he will turn up!" Erik replied the white lie tripping easily off his tongue.

"In which case I had better go before he arrives!" Delphine decided as she took the basket from Erik and turned towards the front door.

ooo

With Delphine on her way home, Erik tidied up the bathroom and washed up the tea things before changing his own still damp clothes. What a morning, it was barely half past eleven and so far, the lake house and its occupant seemed more popular than the Gard de Nord. Erik gave up any hope for his composition, the moment was gone. Heading back into the kitchen he reached into a cupboard under the sink and grabbed the cleaning equipment for maintaining his piano. Maybe a therapeutic polishing would ease his mind and soothe his precious instrument. Nadir had been far too harsh on it.

ooo

Christine, Meg and Meredith had spent a very enjoyable morning at the Ateliers, their new gowns and accessories would be perfect and along with a trip to the cobblers for new shoes and the Milliners for new hats, the ladies were winding down with a coffee and pastry at a nearby café.

"Being a Vicomtess does have its advantages, Meredith grinned as she sipped her coffee.

"Yes, like shutting an entire dress shop just for the three of us!" Meg replied with a big smile, "I felt like royalty!" she continued before taking a bite of her pastry.

Christine finished her pastry and smiled, "I wondering what mischief Erik is getting up to since he had a whole morning to himself and seemed quite eager for me to go and enjoy myself?" She asked rhetorically.

"I know what Raoul is up to," Meredith stated, "staying at home in the warm if he knows what is good for him." she added.

"Jean is recovering from his last set of Erik's clients. Yesterday they decided to play to play hide and seek in The Louvre, it took him nearly three hours to find them." Meg said with a smirk, "I keep telling him not to get them all so drunk, but he is adamant that what the client wants they shall have… Except Erik has banned any of his clients going to the opera house when there are rehearsals on," Meg finished, as they all laughed.

Shortly after, the ladies paid for the refreshments and made their farewells, Christine grabbed a carriage back to the opera house wondering just how bored Erik would really be, since she was convinced, he had put on a show that morning to ensure that she went out with her friends and did not stay at home just to keep him company.

ooo

Back at the lake house, Erik was anything but bored or lonely, he was actually savouring the peace that now reigned. Having finished polishing his piano, he was relaxing with a decent glass of red wine in one hand, sitting comfortably by the fire with both cats on his lap. In fact, as the clock was chiming two, Erik was just dozing off when Christine came through the front door, causing him to jump, both cats to dig their claws into him and the wine glass to drop to the floor as he yelped in pain.

"Hang on Maestro!" Christine called as she rapidly deposited her shopping on the couch and dashed into the kitchen, returning shortly with some cooked chicken to entice the cats to release Erik from their grip.

"Why is it only me they cling to with their claws?" Erik whined as he rubbed his now sore legs, as Saya and Ami released their hold and shot towards the chicken with relish.

"Maybe because like me they know Erik, that you are someone worth hanging on to and never letting go of." Christine coyly remarked as she wrapped Erik in her arms and kissed him, "Shall I also kiss your sore legs better for you?" she asked innocently, as the cats took their treats and vanished into their tunnels.

Erik was now in a quandary, on one hand his angel's attention was just what the architect ordered, on the other he had less than an hour before Nadir was supposed to arrive, yet knowing that persistent Persian, there was no doubt that this would be a day he turned up early, and Erik was not in the mood to be caught inflagranti.

With a surge of supreme will power, Erik pulled away from his angel. "Whilst there is nothing, I desire more, we have a Prophylactic Persian due shortly," Erik grumbled, "He requests help with a rather knotty problem," he continued as he took Christine by the hand and placing her shopping on the floor then sat her on the couch before sitting beside her. "I shall explain…"

ooo

Erik told Christine what had happened; that first Nadir came to the house for piano lessons that were really a plea for help, and then whilst trying to run an errand Erik had 'bumped into Delphine' and she also asked for help for the same reason., They were both due to arrive at the lake house within half an hour of each other.

"Erik!" Christine groaned, "I was not expecting company and more importantly, bloodshed this evening!" she finished, just as true to Erik's suspicions, the front door opened, and a very frazzled Nadir wandered into the sitting room looking like something the cats had dragged in.

"Nice to see you benefitted from your restorative nap!" Erik quipped, walking into the sitting room as Nadir flopped into Erik's reading chair and stared listlessly into the fireplace.

"Humm," Nadir responded.

"I have decided that I am changing the Name on your desk sign!" Erik declared, "Since you are really a Fluffy Tiger and a business manager!" he added pompously.

"Not anymore," Nadir sighed, his eyes never leaving the flames of the fire.

As Nadir fell silent once again, Erik looked up to see Christine standing in the kitchen doorway she looked puzzled, mainly because Erik now looked horrified.

"Erik, Please can you help me with the tea things?" Christine asked, heading back into the kitchen.

"I shall be right back," Erik muttered as he joined Christine in the kitchen, leaving Nadir still staring into the fire.

In the kitchen, Christine turned to Erik, "He really is in a bad way," she remarked.

"I have not seen him like this since Persia," Erik replied, "and yes I am rather concerned," he added.

"When is Delphine due to arrive?" Christine whispered,

"In about half an hour," Erik answered, "I had better get back to him lest he decides to do something stupid to try and end his life!" Erik lightly commented as he turned to leave the kitchen.

Christine grabbed her husband by his arm and stopped him dead in his tracks, "Surely Nadir would not consider suicide?" she demanded frantically.

Erik gently pried Christine's hand off his arm, "Only if whilst I am not watching him, he tries to play my piano again!" he grumbled, "If he does, I shall kill him, she will never be the same again since he pounded on her keys this morning!" he added. Christine rolled her eyes at the last remark, as Erik picked up the tea tray before he left.

It was a peculiar sight as the three of them took tea, Nadir barely touching his cup, Erik was sipping his, whilst watching for any signs that Nadir was planning to head towards the piano and Christine was drinking her tea in between trying to make conversation, almost talking to herself about the weather, the opera and anything except the current situation.

It was just as Christine was about to pour her third cup of tea in half an hour that she realised the pot was empty. "Erik, could you carry the tea tray into the kitchen for me please," she asked sweetly, as she stood up and walked into the kitchen.

Erik appeared shortly after tea tray in hand and watched as Christine put more water on to boil before taking the tea pot and emptying the dregs out of it before putting fresh leaves in.

"I hope Delphine arrives shortly!" she whispered, as Erik nodded in agreement.

Whilst Erik and Christine were whispering in the kitchen, Nadir was still sitting holding a now cold cup of tea, his gaze never leaving the flames in the fireplace, his melancholy only distracted as a frantic knocking came from the front door. looking up he realised that he was in the sitting room alone. The knocking came again, Nadir sighed, put his cold tea on the table and stood up.

"Do not worry about me!" he muttered, "I shall open the door!" he continued, as he slowly made his way to the door and opened it to be assailed by a frantic Delphine.

"Oh, my darling!" she cried as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "My sweetest Fluffy Tiger!" Please forgive me!" she cried as she smothered a shocked Nadir in kisses.

"I…I… I… thought you never wanted to see me again!" Nadir stammered under her loving assault, before pulling away enough to finish what he was trying to say, "It is I who needs forgiveness not you!" Nadir added before being covered in another barrage of kisses.

Christine and Erik poked their heads out of the kitchen then returned there letting the reunited couple make up.

ooo

It was a little while later when Erik looked again into the sitting room to find Nadir and Delphine sitting on the couch holding hands and smiling at each other. Nadir was covered in rouge lip prints from Delphine with a smile on his face that could light up Paris.

"I see the crisis is over!" Erik retorted as he assisted Christine with a fresh tray of tea, before taking his seat in his reading chair.

"I have to admit," Nadir started, "I can now understand some of your behaviour the year before last, love truly does make a man quite crazy!" he added with a chuckle.

"Seriously?" Erik questioned his friend, "does this mean I have to check the chandelier just in case?" he added the seriousness of his tone watered down by the grin on his face.

"The Chandelier is safe, as is your piano!" Nadir declared, "I am not cut out to be a musician," he finished as he accepted a cup of tea from Christine, and they all laughed.

ooo

It was a couple of hours before Nadir and his Delphine took their leave. All four were standing by the front door and after both profusely thanking both Erik and Christine for the assistance, they gave in getting Delphine and her fluffy tiger back together. Nadir tried again to have the last word with his old friend, recalling a remark made earlier that day.

"Erik, if you change the name plate on my desk to 'Fluffy Tiger, Business Manager'," Nadir started, "I shall return the compliment and have yours read "Snuggle Bum, Chief Architect!" he added grinning evilly at Erik.

Erik's eyebrows raised under his mask, "I have never been called that!" he declared indignantly, "And my bum as you put it is not snuggly!" he added, as Christine slipped her hand under his jacket and, across the small of his back before stroking his posterior saucily.

"Oh, I would not say that!" she chimed in with a cheeky grin, that momentarily stunned Erik to silence.

Nadir took the rapidly rampant blush appearing across Erik's ears as his cue to leave, "Come my sweet flower let us leave these two before Erik's ears catch fire!" he stated taking Delphine's hand in his and exiting the lake house as Erik found his voice once more."I really hate you at times!" he growled, as Nadir laughed heartily.

"You love me really!" Nadir replied back, turning to leave.

"I expect you at work on Monday Sober!" Erik yelled as Nadir and Delphine started the walk to the Rue scribe gate, sniggering at the irritated Erik still standing in the doorway of his house.

"And stay away from my Piano!" Erik yelled as his friend and Delphine vanished into the darkness of the passages.

ooo

Christine had already gone back into the sitting room as Erik slammed the front door shut, "Pestilent Persian!" he grumbled as Christine went to sit on the couch giggling.

Erik took his seat by the fire as Christine sat back on the couch, her giggling halting as she heard the crinkle of paper from beneath her, standing up she pulled the sheet of paper from between the couch cushions where it had resided and looked to Erik.

"It is the poem Nadir wrote Delphine!" Erik explained as he watched Christine start to read it.

A moment later Christine looked up from the poem, "It is rather crude!" she declared, with a slight blush, before glancing back at the paper, "Seriously!" she announced appalled, as Erik started laughing at her puzzled expression, "could he really not find anything to rhyme with ripple?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

 **That Third Trombone is really going this time!**

The rehearsals for Faust were not the only rehearsals going on at the opera house and this week bought the start of the rehearsals for the smaller production of 'Orpheus in the Underworld'. Christine was spending the day with Meg and the Corps de Ballet in the ballet school, rehearsing the dance required for the finale and in the main auditorium the orchestra was getting to grips with the music for the production, watched in box five by an irritated Erik and a pensive Nadir.

"Ugh!" Erik groaned, as for the fourth time in less than twenty minutes Monsieur Reyer had to stop the rehearsal because someone in the brass section was playing flat. "Does anyone down there realise that it is that flaming third trombonist again!"

"You mean that poor fellow you tried to get rid of the year before last?" Nadir questioned.

"Yes, he no longer cares for the music and is out of his depth in a livery yard puddle!" Erik muttered, before adding, "it appears he went on a sabbatical rather than leaving after Don Juan Triumphant, and I realised he had come back as we started the rehearsals for Don Juan earlier this year."

"He did not seem to have any problems with your opera this time!" Nadir declared.

"That is because he was not playing during the entire run, I made sure of that!" Erik replied.

"More threats?" Nadir harshly questioned.

"No," Erik replied sweetly, "finely crushed Egyptian Senna slipped in his morning cocoa. Every day during the run, ensured that he was only fit each evening to play in the water closet!"

"Erik!" Nadir nearly yelled, "That was mean, you gave that poor musician a rotten tummy to prevent him from doing his job."

"Yes, but as I promised, I did not threaten him!" Erik replied innocently, "and there were no flat notes!"

"So, if the entire orchestra played flat?" an unimpressed Nadir enquired.

Erik rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I would have to locate a very large supply of Egyptian Senna!" came the reply.

Nadir placed his head in his hands, "Give me strength!" he sighed, as down in the auditorium Reyer called for the orchestra to run through the galop infernal.

Another series of flat notes arose to box five and as Monsieur Reyer called a halt to the rehearsal again, Nadir had to make a frantic grab for Erik to stop him, before the masked maestro leaned over the balcony and started yelling.

"No! sit down!" Nadir hissed, as he forced a now peeved Erik back into his chair.

"This time that third trombone has to go!" Erik growled, before shaking Nadirs hands off his arm, getting up and leaving box five, in a mood.

"Here we go again!" Nadir groaned as he made to follow his friend.

ooo

During the musical mayhem at the opera house, a carriage was leaving the de Chagny estate, wending its way to Angel Architecture containing a very sleep deprived Vicomte cradling a book, and a very annoyed Vicomtess.

"Seriously what made you think it was a good idea to read that book late at night?" Meredith grumbled.

"I could not sleep and thought it would be interesting!" Raoul remarked stifling a yawn.

"Oh yes very interesting to be woken up at two in the morning by my maid to be told that the master of the house has gone quite mad, since he is going around turning on every lamp in the entire chateau and knocking on the walls to see if there is anyone hidden behind them!" Meredith grumbled.

"Look I said I was sorry!" Raoul all but whined, "It is not my fault the book gave me nightmares!" he added as Meredith huffed and turned to stare out of the window.

"Just hand that wretched book back to its owner and stick to reading shipping forecasts when you cannot sleep!" she ordered as Raoul wisely slunk down in his seat and said no more.

ooo

Nadir finally caught up with Erik at the front door of Angel Architecture. "Erik!" Nadir called out as his moody masked friend strode into his private office, "You promised no more threats!"

Erik spun around in the doorway, "Fine! So, I will not threaten to insert his trombone where it would be hard to play!" Erik retorted back, before heading into his office and slamming the door shut.

"Ugh!" Nadir exclaimed as he sat down at his desk, "He is the most infuriating man!"

Gilen brought over a cup of coffee to Nadir, before nervously knocking on Erik's office door entering with the masked man's morning coffee and leaving rapidly followed quickly by Erik growling and the sound of something thrown hitting the door frame.

"Monsieur Nadir, I would like to request a raise payable on certain days only!" Gilen stated as he shut Erik's door.

"Sorry but even I do not get danger money for when Erik is in a mood!" Nadir replied as he looked at the mornings post on his desk.

Gilen merely sighed and went back to his paperwork.

ooo

The rest of the morning passed by pleasantly, since Erik remained holed up in his office, appearing only to order further cups of coffee. That was until just before twelve o'clock when the front door opened to admit a sheepish Raoul and an annoyed Meredith.

"Hello Nadir," Raoul mumbled as husband and wife entered the office.

"Good Morning Raoul, how can I help?" Nadir enquired, as Erik's innate sense of hearing and curiosity lead him to opening his office door.

"Thank you Nadir, but it is Erik I need to speak to," Raoul replied.

Erik then swept out of his office, "What do you require?" he asked, "I am currently tied up with several designs, but I could try to fit you in. he added.

Meredith elbowed Raoul, "Well?" she demanded.

"I… I…" Raoul started nervously.

Meredith huffed irritably gave up and took over, "He wishes to return the book you left behind when you cured his chill!" she informed Erik as Raoul blushed and produced a book from the inside pocket of his coat.

Erik was puzzled, he did not remember leaving anything that could cause embarrassment behind when he left so why was the Vicomte blushing furiously. Curiosity finally got the better of him, "You mean my collection of stories by Edgar Allen Poe?" Erik asked.

"It caused considerable trouble!" Meredith responded glaring at her husband, as Raoul seemed to try and shrink.

"I do not understand?" Erik responded, taking the book from Raoul.

"Someone," Meredith started still glaring at her husband, "Decided to read your book late at night, then spent the rest of that same night illuminating the entire chateau and knocking on the walls in case we were haunted!" she informed a now grinning Erik.

"Seriously?" Erik questioned starting to chuckle.

"Very!" Meredith replied mirthlessly, before adding "The family Mausoleum is not even in the cellars of the house it is located three miles away from the chateau on a hill, so why my husband thought we were haunted is beyond me!" she added as Erik started to laugh, and Raoul cringed.

Nadir had been listening to this exchange and was completely confused, "I seem to have gotten lost in this story, why has Raoul been thinking the Chateau is haunted and why is Erik laughing? He asked Meredith.

"Some silly story in that book about usher houses!" Meredith grumbled, pointing at the book in Erik's hand.

With this Erik roared with laughter, "She means the story 'The fall of the House of Usher!" he clarified still laughing, whilst Raoul blushed further and Nadir merely looked even more confused, Meredith gave Erik a sour look.

Erik sobered in Meredith's withering glance, "My dear Meredith there is no need to look like you have eaten a lem…" Erik started before falling silent mid word, his eyes lighting up with a sudden revelation. "Genius…! My dear Vicomtess you… Are a Genius!" Erik suddenly yelped before kissing Meredith's cheek grabbing his fedora and cloak and running out of the office at high speed.

Meredith's anger faded with the kiss on the cheek and she looked at Raoul quite shocked, "Well I do declare!" she said breathlessly placing her hand on her chest with a smile and a blush.

It was Raoul's turn to look sour, "I do not seem to recall giving him permission to kiss my wife!" he complained, crossing his arms in annoyance.

Nadir gave up trying to understand what had just happened and decided to focus on figuring out what plans Erik had just concocted for the third Trombone player. "I am more concerned about what Erik is planning to do to a trombone player that now involves lemons!" he stated, placing his astrakhan cap on his head and dashing out the front door after Erik.

Raoul and Meredith looked at each other and then at Gilen who remained at his desk sniggering, before stepping outside to see Nadir standing on the pavement taking a deep breath.

"ERIK! DO NOT DARE SHOVE A LEMON UP THAT MAN'S TROMBONE… OR ANYWHERE ELSE DO YOU HEAR!" Nadir shouted loudly down the rue at the top of Erik's fedora as it rapidly disappeared down an alley, in the direction of the opera house.

"Ugh, I am not chasing after him on foot," Nadir sighed as he went to locate a carriage.

Raoul stepped up beside the beleaguered Persian, "Allow me to avail my carriage for your use!" Raoul offered, "On the condition that you tell me the tale behind trombones and lemons," He added as the three made their way to the Vicomte's awaiting carriage and got in.

"Thank you for the use of your carriage," Nadir said as they made their way towards the Opera house, "I will happily tell you about the trombone, but would you be so kind as to assuage my curiosity first? He asked.

"Ask away Nadir we are friends after all!" Raoul happily replied.

"What was Erik finding so funny about 'The fall of the House of Usher' and you thinking the chateau was haunted?" Nadir asked as Raoul looked embarrassed and Meredith grinned.

ooo

The intrepid trio arrived at the opera house and quickly made their way to the auditorium where the orchestra were just finishing yet another run through of the galop infernal, there was no sign of Erik anywhere.

Raoul listened carefully, "I cannot hear anything wrong with that!" he declared as Meredith cringed.

"I can see what Erik meant," she declared, "I cannot place it like he can but there is someone playing flat and it is horribly discordant," she added.

"Where are you Erik? I know you are in here somewhere!" Nadir muttered under his breath.

Finding themselves seats near the middle of the auditorium Nadir and Raoul assisted Meredith into her seat and then sat down themselves, as in the Orchestra Pit Monsieur Reyer brought the latest run through to a close.

"Thank you and take a fifteen minute break!" Reyer announced to the orchestra, as everyone downed their instruments and rapidly exited, leaving Reyer to mop his brow and follow them.

"There he is!" Raoul announced in a stage whisper, pointing to Erik exiting one of his hidden doors and entering the auditorium close to the orchestra pit.

Nadir, Meredith and Raoul watched as Erik reached back into the doorway and produced in his hand…

"A bowl of lemons?" Raoul questioned, "Why has Erik got a bowl containing lemons?"

"I have a horrible feeling I have just realised the answer!" Nadir declared as Erik and his lemons made their way to the front row of seating.

Looking up at his three friends Erik waved and grinned before placing the bowl on a theatre seat and started pacing carefully crouching down every so often as if lining something up. Seemingly happy with whatever he was looking for Erik collected his lemons and took a seat that he had obviously carefully selected for some reason.

Three sets of eyes carefully watched as the orchestra returned and took their seats, waiting as Monsieur Reyer took his place on the podium and instructed the musicians under his command to turn to the start of the overture for a complete run through no stopping until the music was complete, then he would critique.

ooo

From his seat in the orchestra pit Jacques Fournier wet his lips ready to play and looked up from his trombone, to his conductor and following his line of sight into the mask of the temporary Musical Director Erik Jardinier, who was calmly sitting in the front row seemingly waiting for something… Despite the fact that Jacques had long ago gotten fed up with his job in the orchestra. When his brother in law, Giles Andre became the manager here, Jacques had promised Andre that he would stay, however that whole Phantom episode had quite shaken him up; Andre had begged that instead of quitting, Jacques took a one year's sabbatical; on his return he was still the third trombonist for as long as he wanted the job, and Jacques did not have the heart to say no. However, during his sabbatical Jacques had discovered his true passion; and playing the trombone was not it, so on his first day back he had warned Andre that one more upset and another third trombonist would be required.

ooo

Meanwhile in the auditorium, as the music started Erik was ready for activating the last part of his plan he had aptly titled, 'getting rid of the third trombone, without annoying my angel' and despite the concerns of his three witnesses, Erik during his journey back to the opera house had put a bit more thought into this than Nadir, Raoul and Meredith realised; Erik just needed to wait patiently for the right moment.

Suddenly the right moment appeared; Nadir shuddered as Erik lifted the first lemon to his lips and as the brass section started playing, he took a bite.

"Ugh!" shuddered Raoul, "Erik is eating a whole lemon, peel and all!" he declared as Meredith watched Erik taking second bite.

"I was right!" Nadir responded with a grimace, "he did something similar in Persia!" he grumbled without thinking.

"Erik really went to Persia?" Raoul asked as he watched Erik taking his third bite.

"Yes! And he hated out of tune musicians even then." Nadir added drawing the conversation that he accidently started to a rapid close, before Raoul asked too many questions.

ooo

In the orchestra pit, Jacques was finding it difficult to watch Monsieur Reyer's instructions because his eyes had been drawn to Erik's actions.

In fact, most of the brass section had been distracted by Erik's mid-day snack.

ooo

To the casual observer, the current situation was farcical, the orchestra were valiantly attempting to play the overture to Orpheus in the Underworld whilst the brass section had tears in their eyes as they tried and failed to stop watching the temporary Music Director eating raw whole lemons seated in the front row of the auditorium almost directly in their line of sight. At the same time, they were also trying to keep up with the music and play the correct notes even though their lips wanted to seal themselves shut at the thought of the bitter and sour flavours of the citrus fruit they saw being consumed.

Erik seemed to the same observer to be innocently eating a healthy although odd snack of fresh fruit whilst listening to the music.

ooo

Monsieur Reyer was oblivious to the cause of the discordant expressions in some of his musicians; since Erik was sitting behind him. So, he was trying to ignore the occasional peculiar notes coming from the brass section.

Erik was on his second lemon and the battle was on, the brass section determined to keep playing despite the fact they all felt their lips puckering tighter and tighter every time Erik took a bite.

ooo

Erik finished his fourth lemon as the orchestra started the segue into the galop infernal, there was one more fruit in the bowl and keeping his eyes locked on the orchestra, Erik grabbed it and started to take a massive bite just as the brass section joined in and…

Instead of the finale of the overture, the most corpulent and violent sound erupted drowning out all the other instruments, almost like the entire brass section had suffered terminal flatulence. The music then came to an abrupt halt before Erik's voice rang out above the chaos.

"Ugh I hate limes!" Erik complained bitterly holding the remaining piece of the offending fruit, as even with his mask in place his eyes and the grimace upon his lips spoke volumes.

ooo

Nadir felt his jaw bounce off the floor, he could not believe what he had just witnessed. This time without threats, without violence and without shouting and cursing, Erik had yet again managed to create mayhem in the opera house.

Raoul was on the floor between the seats, not in embarrassment but clutching his stomach in hysterics, "I do not think I have ever seen anything so funny!" he gasped out between laughs.

"Well that was definitely different!" Meredith commented lightly, "I have to admit I thought the orchestra was going to succeed until Erik bit into that lime," she added with a giggle.

ooo

At the same time, in the orchestra pit with shuddering musicians. Monsieur Reyer had carefully placed his baton on his lectern and turned quickly to see Erik still grimacing and holding the remains of a half-eaten lime in one hand. "If the playing was that abysmal you only had to catch my attention!" Reyer grumbled at Erik, "There was no need to decimate my brass section!" he added glowering at Erik.

ooo

Jacques surveyed the current debacle; this was what he had been praying for… A reason to quit. And like a man finally shown the way to freedom he took it.

"That does it!" Jacques yelled, as he all but threw his trombone on the floor and stood up. "Lemons and Phantoms!" he bitterly complained "I quit, I am going to become a painter!" he then stormed out of the pit and into the room where the musicians stored their belongings during the performances.

Locating the case, he carried his trombone in Jacques realised he had left his trombone in the pit. Then he spied the fat and full envelope sitting on top of the case, his name written on the paper container in blue ink. Opening the envelope Jacques could not believe his eyes. Sitting there before him was fifteen thousand francs and a letter. ' _Thank you from Sweet Music's throne. Here is a little something to assist you to become an artist.'_ There was no signature.

Jacques counted the money, then counted it again, there was enough there, that even after buying more oils and canvas and a new set of brushes, if he put the rest into an account, he could draw from it the same wages he got from the opera house and never have to work again, therefore his wife would be happy and he could stop playing that flaming trombone and he could be happy.

With a loud whoop of joy and an equally loud thank you to which ever deity provided this largess, Jacques rapidly placed the envelope in his money belt, adjusted his clothing and exited the opera house a happier man than when he arrived.

ooo

The corps de Ballet had been practising one of the dances for the operetta as the sour flatulent notes of the brass section echoed within the studio. The corps came to a grinding halt and Meg pulled off a spectacular high kick and Pirouette to avoid kicking Christine who suddenly stopped mid dance listening to the furore in the main auditorium, "Erik!" she hissed to herself, before noting the grim façade of Madame Giry nodding at her. With that Christine took off towards the main stage area, Meg keeping up with her rapid pace.

ooo

Erik had disposed of the accursed partially devoured lime and was standing talking happily to Monsieur Reyer by the time Christine strode on to the main stage.

"Erik!" Christine projected from centre stage where she now stood, "What did you do this time?" she demanded, as Nadir Meredith and Raoul held their breath for the reply, Meg shut her eyes and they all waited.

"I was sorting out an ongoing concern with the orchestra!" Erik replied smoothly, not daring to look up at his wife, certain she had a very annoyed expression on her face. It was Monsieur Reyer that gave the explanation.

"Madame Jardinier, your husband has just enacted an ideal solution to an ongoing issue in the orchestra!" Reyer started, as Christine glowered in the direction of her husband.

"Has he now?" Christine asked as she left the stage and descended the steps to the auditorium and stalked towards her now nervous husband.

Her Phantomesque predatory approach towards a nervous Erik was halted as from the orchestra's room a joyous yelp arose.

"Whoopee! No more playing that flaming trombone… Free! Free I tell you! Praise St Cecilia!" an ecstatic voice hollered from off stage, before a door opened then slammed shut. Christine's expression went from annoyance to puzzlement as Erik looked up at her and grinned.

"Well that is the third trombone gone at last!" Erik reported happily, as their friends breathed a sigh of relief. Then he truly looked at his wife in her rehearsal attire.

Erik coughed as he took in the sight of Christine, wearing her old Corps de Ballet rehearsal attire, with Knee high purple satin boots, beneath her dance attire a pair of knee length drawers covering in lacy frills peeking out from under her crinoline skirt. "What on earth are you wearing?" he sputtered, as his eyes nearly fell out of his head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

 **Cancan Conundrums**

"What am I wearing?" Christine reiterated looking down at her attire, "my rehearsal attire of course, since I have to learn at least the final dance of the performance as I do become a bacchanalia at the end of the operetta." She replied.

Erik mused for a moment, "Ah yes! The notorious Galop Infernal," he responded, before screwing his eyes up under his mask, "However I hate Purple on you!" Erik complained, as Madame Giry made her way onto the main stage.

"Be that as it may, the final scene involves Bacchus and his ladies," Madame announced, Bacchus and the purple of grapes go together very well, and Bernadette and I have worked long and hard to ensure the costumes fit the scene perfectly!" she added a raised eyebrow to the stoic expression that clearly brokered no further arguing.

"So, what galop will the ladies be dancing?" Meredith asked eagerly.

"Please Maman?" Meg pleaded.

Madame Giry thought for a moment, "well since one of our biggest Patrons has asked," she mused, "Very well Meg!" Madame informed her eager daughter.

"We are not doing a Galop at all!" Meg declared excitedly.

"Then what type of dance are you doing?" Meredith probed intrigued.

"Le Cancan!" Meg announced proudly.

"What!" Erik barked.

"Why would you dance that here?" Raoul all but yelled. "that is a scandalous dance, where the dancers in seedy music halls show their underwear and other aspects!" he added, before noting Meredith, Meg, Christine, and Madame Giry all looking very old fashioned at him, "Erm… so I have been told by so… some people …I Um know." He added sheepishly.

"Humm yes, I think we need to discuss this later!" Meredith informed her husband, her tone clearly stating that she would be doing the discussing and Raoul would be doing the listening.

"Yes Dear," Raoul answered.

"Le Cancan?" Erik had found his voice again, and at its very tone Christine sighed, and to think that today had started off so well. As Erik started his soliloquy on Le Cancan, Christine let her thoughts drift.

ooo

 _As a break from the more serious operas the Garnier was famous for; a relatively new production by Offenbach, had been chosen and with it the one aspect of the production, the Corps de Ballet had been looking forward to, the Galop Infernal. Madame Giry having called the older girls to the foyer de la danse to run through. Wearing their new Dancing boots instead of their normal pointe shoes the Corps de ballet were champing at the bit to start. She had decided to put to the galop, a dance she had heard about and then investigated. "Maintaining your grace as well as timing is vital for this dance to flow," she instructed "because of the nature of this dance your costumes will also be supplemented with a pair of drawers with the crotch sewn shut!" she added as she went around and handed each of the Corps a pair of 'dance drawers'. Arriving at where Meg and Christine were sitting Madame Giry came to a grinding halt. "La Jardinier, why are you in Corps rehearsal attire, you do not need to attend this rehearsal?" Madame declared, as Meg and Christine looked expectantly at the pile of drawers hung over Madame's arm._

" _Oh, but I insist!" Christine answered demurely, "I feel the need to add this dance to my repertoire, especially since my character becomes a bacchanalia at the end of the opera." She added._

 _Madame Giry sighed and gave up. Handing a pair of drawers to both Christine and then Meg she turned to address the rest of the corps, "Now originally this dance was a galop, but I want to add something to really bring the dancing to the fore especially as the ending is supposed to be a complete orgy!" Madame Giry started, as the ladies around her giggled, "I have no doubt some of you have already experienced the dance I have in mind for this part of the production!" she continued glancing at most of the assembled corps, so I am more than confident that you will all be able to perform this with the limited time we have before the opening night!" she added, before taking a breath and continuing._

" _The galop is in marching time and at 160 beats per minute!" Madame Giry informed everyone, whist still glaring at Meg and Christine for chatting. "So, the dance I have in mind is perfect for the piece," she continued, "I have no doubt that it will cause a stir, but it will show the Corps versatility in dancing!" she declared proudly, before her face turned serious, "now place your dance drawers on ready to start!" she ordered._

ooo

"I hear your concerns Erik and I have addressed each one before you even knew of the dance being performed!" Madame Giry's controlled yet firm reply snapped Christine from her reverie.

"How?" Erik questioned.

"The Drawers are sewn shut and are worn above a maillot; the costume goes above that, so each lady is appropriately covered." She answered.

"So, my wife will be appropriately attired at all times during the dance?" Erik asked, his tone less foreboding.

"Yes," Madame Giry replied, "Now can we please get back to the rehearsal?" she added.

Erik thought for a moment, "If Christine is happy, then I am happy!" he declared turning to leave.

"Now hang on a moment!" Raoul suddenly declared, "What about this Cancan?"

Erik turned back to face the Vicomte, "What about it?" he asked.

"Surely you are not going to allow your wife to perform such a lewd dance?" Raoul vehemently pointed out, metaphorically climbing upon his soap box, "I mean it is a dance associated with gentleman's clubs and the like!" he added, "hardly a respectable thing to perform here!" he finished.

"This from the man who has seen such performances!" Meredith pointed out.

"Yes, but not at the Opera house!" Raoul remarked, unaware that he had drawn quite the crowd as the Corps de Ballet and most of the backstage staff, as well as the orchestra gathered for an afternoon's worth of entertainment.

Meredith stared at her husband; when had Raoul turned into such a prig! "So, you are saying that ladies who perform this dance are beneath you?" she questioned dangerously.

Raoul replied without thinking, "Of course, that is why I do not think it wise to be danced here!" he replied.

Seconds later a loud slap sound filled the air. "That is for insulting me!" Christine yelled as her right hand started to colour up, Raoul's left cheek was bearing a matching print.

At the same time as Christine was slapping her former fiancé, Erik growled lurching forward before being fielded by a scowling Nadir.

"Punch him later!" Nadir told Erik in Farsi, "too many witnesses!" he added.

The masked man collected himself but remained scowling, "Of course, he has also insulted the fair Delphine!" Erik replied back in the same language, as Nadir grimly nodded.

Madame Giry just stood there an unimpressed, "I find it is unwise to argue with idiots!" she declared hotly, "They bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Come Meg!" she barked as mother and daughter turned towards the back of the stage. "Girls we have rehearsals to continue, the show is over!" she yelled as the Corps de Ballet followed her and Meg towards the Foyer de Danse.

"I have a rehearsal to attend," Christine informed Erik and Nadir, before kissing Erik's masked cheek and following behind the rest of the Corps de Ballet, as the backstage staff returned to their work. The orchestra and Monsieur Reyer seemed to vanish into their little room.

Meredith then glared at her errant husband, "Well since certain ladies; who are my friends I might add are 'beneath you', You can presume that by association your wife is also of the same station, therefore, I do not expect you to lower yourself by being seen with me!" she curtly informed him before turning towards the steps taking her back to the rear of the auditorium and the main exit. and she strode off leaving Raoul, with no other witnesses except the two glaring sets of angry eyes trained on him.

"So, it seems I have said something a little inflammatory!" Raoul remarked, nervously wringing his hands.

Nadir and Erik looked at each other, "A little inflammatory he says!" Nadir remarked glibly.

"Only a little?" Erik questioned.

A sudden 'Whump' sound, like a side of steak thrown on a butchers block echoed through the main auditorium, as Raoul staggered back his hand over his right eye.

"Ouch!" Raoul yelped.

"Erik!" Nadir growled at his friend who was rubbing his left fist.

"I have waited a long time to do that, and that was for insulting my wife!" Erik replied before turning to face an annoyed Daroga, "What? You said hit him when there were no witnesses!" Erik pointed out.

"It is not so much your hitting him, but you got there before I did!" Nadir complained, as Raoul, still shocked stared out of his one good eye, at the two men beside him.

"You should not have waited so long! Oh, Procrastinating Persian!" Erik retorted.

"Err excuse me!" Raoul started.

Erik and Nadir both turned to face Raoul "Shut up!" they barked at the same time, before turning to face each other again.

"If you feel that strongly punch his other eye!" Erik unhelpfully pointed out, as Raoul stood there like a spare part.

"Look I really…" Raoul started.

"Did we not just tell you to shut up!" Nadir and Erik both interrupted him once more, before returning to their current bickering match.

"I am not going to just punch his other eye!" Nadir declared, "Unlike you I do not just hit people on a whim!" he added.

"You just complained that I hit him first, and that you wanted to!" Erik protested.

Raoul decided that is was most likely safer to just quietly leave Erik and Nadir to their argument; before he got punched again.

ooo

After furtively exiting the opera house, Raoul got quite a shock, his carriage was not where he had left it, thankfully his valet Louis was standing just outside the opera house smoking a cheroot and waiting calmly for his boss.

"Sir, Madame Vicomtess has taken the carriage," Louis informed the puzzled Vicomte, as he dropped his half smoked cheroot on the ground and stamped it out with his foot.

"What are you doing here?" Raoul asked, still looking around for his carriage, and now holding his hand over his swollen and rapidly blackening eye.

Louis sighed; this was going to be a long day. "Sir, I rode in from the chateau to procure you more handkerchiefs, since the tailor forgot to send them with your summer outfits," he informed the Vicomte, "I saw the carriage and stopped for a moment to converse with your driver, when the Vicomtess came storming out of the opera house," he continued.

"That is all well and good, but I cannot stand here with a swollen eye!" Raoul complained, "Everyone will wonder what I have done!" he whined.

"Sir, I think that everyone will realise that you have upset your wife!" Louis retorted, before taking some pity with his beleaguered boss. "However, I think that we would be best served by heading to the town house and making use of the skeleton staff there." He added, before turning to locate his horse which was hitched to a railing nearby.

"I have done more than just upset my wife," Raoul muttered as he turned towards the horse and Louis. "I have most likely managed to offend every real friend I have ever had!" he mumbled as he mounted the horse followed by Louis climbing up behind him.

ooo

Meredith had not gone far; in fact, she had taken the carriage, and had it drive her to the back of the opera house. Finding a comfortable position to stand in, Meredith waited by Madame Giry's front door for the ballet mistress to arrive home after the rehearsal.

"Meredith!" Madame Giry called as she reached her front door, "Can I help you?" Madame asked as she opened the door and ushered her guest in.

"I would so like to apologise for my stupid husbands ill conceived words!" Meredith declared as both ladies entered the parlour.

"Meredith you have nothing to apologise for!" Madame Giry pointed out, "as for your errant husband, well, him I am not so sure about." She added, "Tea?"

"Yes please," Meredith replied, as the front door opened once more, and Meg and Christine entered.

ooo

Over the course of the next half an hour the ladies grumbled and plotted regarding what to do about Raoul, laughing when Meredith informed the others about hijacking the carriage and leaving Raoul without transport.

"So, what do you think he is going to do?" Meg asked as she wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.

Well when I exited the opera house; his valet Louis was beside the carriage chatting to our driver," Meredith said, "So I told him what happened, and all he could do was put his head in his hands and groan." She added taking a sip of her tea before continuing, "I did instruct him not to return that idiot to my sight until he had apologised, and that Louis should inform him that all marital activities are off until Raoul has learnt his lesson!" she finished.

"I like that thought," Meg declared, "kick him right where it hurts!" she said laughing again.

"Oh, please believe me, if there were not so many witnesses, that is exactly what I would have done!" Meredith declared as all four ladies laughed.

ooo

Erik and Nadir had finished bickering and were currently ensconced in Erik's sitting room discussing their own thoughts regarding the patronising Patron.

"Okay so I did want to hit him first!" Nadir grumbled as Erik handed him a generous brandy.

"I for one cannot blame you," Erik replied as he poured himself a drink.

"So, what are we going to do?" Nadir asked, "I cannot leave him with only a black eye for insulting our fair ladies honour!" he declared.

Erik grinned evilly, "I personally think our ladies fair will be far less forgiving than you think, and rather more vicious that you and I could ever be even on a bad day,"

Nadir thought for a moment then nodded and took a generous swig of his brandy, "he really is going to regret this, is he not" he remarked with a smirk.

"If he does not apologise to all the ladies very soon, more than he thinks is ever possible." Erik replied chuckling evilly.

"You know, I almost feel sorry for him!" Nadir added as he joined Erik in an evil laugh.

ooo

Meanwhile at the de Chagny town house, Raoul was lying down on the chaise in his study wearing a fetching filet de boeuf on his now very swollen and rainbow coloured right eye, whilst explaining exactly what occurred that resulted in the afore mentioned affliction.

"So, let me summarise what you have just told me." Louis responded rubbing his temples in frustration at his boss's ridiculous behaviour. "You effectively called the Prima Donna of the opera house a loose woman, claimed that every woman who danced the cancan was frivolous and cannot figure out why the very respected ballet mistress called you an idiot and the husband of said Prima Donna thumped you!" Louis pointed out.

"I thought that at least Nadir Khan would be more supportive!" Raoul mumbled.

"Sir, if I may be so bold…" Louis started, "Is Monsieur Khan not engaged to a former top burlesque dancer?" he asked cautiously.

Raoul groaned, "Oh god, I forgot that he was engaged to Delphine Bonheur," he moaned, "How am I to sort this out?" he wailed, "Even my wife has banned me from her presence for insulting our friends." Raoul added.

Louis refused to join the pity party his boss was creating, and with a huff he decided that brutal honesty was the only way forward. "Quite frankly Sir, you have been very ridiculous, thoughtless and honestly very rude to people who were your friends." Louis told his boss.

Raoul sighed and nodded, he realised at the honest opinion of his valet, he had been insufferable, Louis was right, "I know, all I actually wanted to say was I did not think the cancan was a dance suitable for the stage of the Garnier, but it did not come out that way." He grimaced; "how do I apologise for such an insult?" he asked.

"Grovelling sir," Louis replied unphased, "Lots and lots and LOTS of grovelling."

ooo

At the opera house Erik and Nadir had joined the ladies at Madame Giry's and were just accepting a cup of tea each from her when a very nervous knock at her front door halted conversation.

"Meg hand round the chocolates and do not keep them all for yourself!" Madame ordered, "I am going to see what that insipid knock is." She added leaving the parlour and making her way down to the front door.

The knock came again, obviously who ever it was, was not going away. Madame Giry huffed as she opened the door and found an extremely nervous and penitent looking patron on her doorstep.

"What do you want?" she questioned, as Raoul stood shaking with fear in front of her.

"Please may I apologise!" Raoul begged, "I have been such a insufferable arse!" he pleaded.

Madame Giry eyed him unimpressed, but relented, "Very well but I am not going to let my cup of tea go cold for you!" she declared, turning on her heel and leaving Raoul to enter the door, shut it and follow her.

Raoul was used to people staring at him, it was in his mind just a part of being a Vicomte, but nothing prepared him for the angry stares he received as he entered Madame's Parlour. He did the only thing he could and threw himself on the floor on his knees and on the mercy of the people he hoped to call friends… and his wife.

The silence was deafening as Raoul cleared his throat and did something an aristocrat never normally did, he started to sincerely apologise.

"I have been beyond the most insufferable arse, and I was wrong, very wrong, I have offended you all, and worse I called into question the honour of some of the most propriatous ladies I have ever had the opportunity to meet." He grovelled, "I humbly throw myself on all your mercies and beg your forgiveness." He pleaded.

The silence that followed was worse than when he first entered, and Raoul started to sweat with nerves, had he really gone too far this time? A few moments passed before Meredith spoke.

"It is not my place to forgive you, and the hurt you caused has been keenly felt." She told her begging husband, before turning to Erik and Nadir, "Gentlemen, could you escort him outside of this apartment for a few moments whilst the ladies converse?" she asked, "Just no more black eyes please!" she added, noting the stunning example Raoul already wore.

Erik stood up followed by Nadir and before he knew what was happening, Raoul found himself lifted off the floor and man handled out of the apartment by them.

ooo

As the snick of the front door catch reached to ears of the ladies in the Parlour, Meredith sighed, "I know he has been stupid, but I felt so mean," she remarked.

"It is just thankful that none of us are actually horrifically insulted by what he said." Christine replied calmly.

"For that I am grateful," Meredith stated, "but I think that it is going to take a few weeks for that black eye to fade."

"Well ladies are we sticking to the agreed plan?" Madame Giry enquired, taking a sip of her tea.

"Well I think he has learnt his lesson," Meg interjected, grabbing another chocolate from the plate before her mother removed it from her grasp.

"My husband is foolish and does not always think before he opens his mouth, but he is not a mean person, I feel that an Erik created black eye and what we discussed will be sufficient," Meredith stated.

"It worked for Jean, and I think it is fitting in this circumstance also," Christine remarked placing her empty teacup back on its saucer.

Madame Giry had just placed the plate containing the remaining chocolates back on the table and was about to refresh the tea pot when the three men reappeared in the parlour.

Raoul looked like he was heading to the gallows as he entered ahead of Erik and Nadir. He took up his position on the floor on his knees as Erik and Nadir resumed their seats and waited for the judgement...

ooo

The following morning, Raoul really knew the meaning of penitence. It was only half past nine and he had been at this since seven, his lungs were fit to burst, and his legs felt like they were made of lead, also the sniggers from the two shadows watching his abject humiliation were pouring more embarrassment on him.

"Seriously, you call that a grand battement?" Madame yelled at the flagging Vicomte banging her cane on the floor, "I have seen better from the youngest dancers in the ballet school!" she scolded, before turning to the two shapes sitting on chairs in one corner sniggering, "You two are not helping!" she barked.

Erik and Nadir ceased sniggering, "Sorry!" they both intoned fighting to keep their faces straight.

Madame Giry took a deep breath and focussed on her lone dance student, "Before this day is over you will be dancing this well enough that you will be joining the main practice tomorrow, or so help me!" she growled as Raoul flinched.

"From the top!" she barked as Raoul tried to place a smile on his face and kick his leg as high as it would go, his brain and body made a mental threat to his mouth to never fire off opinions without thinking about them first, ever again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews.**

 **Thank you for following me and I hope you will enjoy this instalment.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

 **An Irritated Aristocrat**

"I thought that Madame Giry banned us from today's rehearsal?" Nadir questioned as he and Erik made their way silently along one of Erik's secret corridors.

"No, oh Pensive Persian, she merely told us we could not be in the room because we made her new dancer nervous, she never said we could not watch the rehearsal!" Erik pointed out as the men arrived behind one of the large mirrors in the foyer de danse.

"Why do I feel that this is going to end with a cane stuck somewhere painful!" Nadir said as he and Erik unfolded their travelling chairs and sat down ready for the rehearsal to start.

"Quiet!" Erik whispered urgently, "this wall is not soundproof they will hear us, Booby!"

It was a matter of moments before the corps de ballet started to arrive and proceeded to start their warmups. A grinning Meg and Christine arriving just after and joined them, then Madame entered the room… stopped and turned back to the corridor.

"Raouletta do not dawdle!" she barked as behind the mirror Erik and Nadir held their breath, then slapped their hands across their mouths to stifle their laughs as the newest member of the Corps tried to sneak in and join Christine and Meg at the barre to begin warming up.

"Raouletta?" Nadir breathed, as he and Erik looked at the Vicomte de Chagny wearing enough make up to look like a passable but ugly female, masquerading as a ballet girl complete with tutu, dance drawers and purple heeled man sized ladies boots.

"Yes," Erik replied his voice thrown neatly into Nadir's left ear, "Can you imagine what would happen to him if the Ballet Rats discovered the senior patron of the opera wearing very little, in their midst." He added, as Raoul started a round of plies. "Also, Meredith mentioned to my darling Angel, that Louis had to help shave him everywhere since it did not suit his dance attire to have a hairy anatomy, and then strap up certain aspects so they did not affect his Rond de Jambe." Erik continued.

Nadir silently sniggered, "He is so going to regret all that shaving at some point. But at least his shoulder length blonde bouffant makes an adequate chignon." He whispered, as the pianist arrived, and the two friends sat back as the rehearsal proper commenced.

ooo

It was only half and hour into the rehearsal when Erik and Nadir had to abandon their spying; though they both had to admit he performed a reasonable Cancan, the sight of Raoul in his tutu and ladies boots, was too funny, and they were in serious danger of laughing out loud then being discovered. Exiting the secret tunnel, they both decided they had better head to the office and get some work done.

ooo

Raoul was released from his penance the day before the gala, since Madame felt he had learnt his lesson. However, his punishment was far from over…

ooo

The de Chagny carriage was just pulling up to the front of the opera house the night of the gala, when Meredith noticed her husband had his hand down the front of his trousers his fingers moving in a rocking motion beneath the cloth, a smile on his face.

"What on earth are you doing?" she questioned horrified, as her husband rapidly pulled his hand out of his trousers and righted his clothes.

"Scratching!" Raoul stated, "I itch everywhere!" he added, "and I mean everywhere!"

"Well stop scratching!" Meredith hissed, "people will think you have fleas!"

Despite his discomfort, Raoul placed a charming smile on his face as he exited the carriage and offered his hand for Meredith to climb out, before they made their way into the foyer. Alas no sooner than they entered the main doors, He and Meredith were pounced on by Andre and Firmin.

"Ah, Our esteemed senior Patron!" Andre crooned grinning like he had slept with a coat hanger in his mouth just for this purpose.

"And his most charming Vicomtess, Madame Vicomtess you are looking every part the lady you are," Firmin drooled saccharinely.

Raoul could spot a management ruse when he saw one, "What has happened?" he asked cautiously.

"Nothing, nothing," Replied Andre airily, just… well… erm… there is a dance in the final act that we…urm… we…

"We do not condone and wish to inform you of it in case it offends you and charming wife!" Firmin finished for his now blustering colleague.

"What dance is this?" Meredith enquired knowing full well what it was.

Raoul stood listening to Andre and Firmin as they started waxing lyrical without actually saying anything when he realised that parts of his anatomy were once again protesting at have been shaved, and it was getting uncomfortable. Raoul stepped behind his wife and used her large evening bustle to cover a quick scratch.

"Are you quite alright?" Andre enquired having noticed that once the Vicomte had moved, a grin had appeared on his face.

Removing his hand immediately from where the offending itch was located, Raoul was relieved he had done so, because Meredith instantly turned around; removing his cover; to see what was going on.

"Raoul?" his wife questioned suspiciously, having no doubt he was scratching behind her.

Grabbing the bottom edges of his jacket in a blasé manner, Raoul managed to find a somewhat forced smile, "Yes I am quite fine, and as you are both well aware, we are personal friends with Madame Giry, La Jardinier and her husband, so we both know that the dance you are talking about, Le Cancan." He stated sharply, "I for one think that under the choreography of Madame Giry, the ladies will only be showing their remarkable skills in dance and nothing else!" Raoul finished, turning to walk away.

"Will your sense of propriety and your delicate wife not be offended by such a lewd dance?" Firmin enquired.

Raoul sighed, the itching was becoming unbearable and, in a location he could not scratch in open view, so gathering what patience he had left he eyed the two managers sternly. "Quite frankly, it is time for the introduction of new and modern dance styles to keep the performances fresh!" he snapped turning on his heel and thrusting his arm out "Come my dearest I feel the need to retire to our box ready for the performance!" Raoul commanded as Meredith took his arm and he almost dragged her away.

Halfway to their box Meredith had, had enough. "Raoul that was very rude!" she stated, glaring at her husband.

"Sorry but I am dying to have a scratch!" Raoul muttered, "These new trousers are irritating the shaving rash I possess in very important areas." He hissed.

Meredith stopped completely dead in the middle of the corridor, "So that is what you were doing behind me just now," she exclaimed, "Seriously; were you were scratching your…"

Raoul quickly placed his hand over his wife's lips, "Please not so loud!" he pleaded, "Can we just get to our box so I can have a scratch in peace…Please!" he begged.

Meredith looked at her husband in shock, "we receive guests and friends in the box before the performance, so you are not sitting there scratching… anything in view of society, she hissed, "Use the gentlemen's facilities." She directed.

ooo

Meanwhile in box five, Erik, Jean, Delphine and Nadir were getting comfortable. The friends were in high spirits especially after Erik and Nadir had told Jean and Delphine about Raoul's dancing.

"I would so loved to have seen that!" Jean said still sniggering.

"I am wondering how he is coping with the hair regrowth?" Delphine mused, "serves him right though" she added when Nadir looked a little concerned with what his intended was pondering about.

"You will be able to find out later," Erik reminded his friends "Remember we are all having a late supper at our house post performance and soiree." He added as they took their seats.

ooo

The lights were just dimming as Raoul finally made it back to box eight. "What took you so long?" she asked as the Prelude started.

"I was sorting out a few concerns," Raoul replied before they both settled down to watch.

ooo

Raoul was sniggering as Carlotta finished her introduction as 'Public Opinion', "That is the perfect role for her!" he whispered to his wife, as Christine entered the stage as Eurydice. It was then that horrid itching started again, Raoul calmly used the bell pull and waited for the box keeper to arrive.

"Could I have a glass with some Ice and nothing else, please." He asked.

The ice arrived just as Pluto was singing his aria about sheep and after quietly thanking the box keeper Raoul clutched the glass of ice in one hand grabbed the front of his trousers with the other, and whilst thanking the heavens that Meredith was engrossed in the performance tipped the ice down his trousers and adjusted himself, so the ice was relieving the itch.

The end of the first act came as Meredith turned to her husband and noticed he was sitting in a puddle, "Raoul?" she questioned as the curtain came down.

Raoul followed his wife's line of sight to the wet patch on the seat and grinned, "Ice, it has relieved the itching!" he sighed happily.

Meredith was not impressed, "Really; it looks like you could not get to the facilities in time!" she whispered angrily at him, "Now it looks like you have fleas and incontinence, why are you doing this to me Raoul?" she sighed hopelessly as she put her head in her hands.

ooo

Over in box five, Erik was glad he had already seen the whole operetta when he watched the final dress rehearsal the previous day, as it gave him chance to look around and more importantly watch the odd activities occurring in box eight. Each time Christine was no longer on stage Erik watched Raoul and Meredith with interest. Especially whilst being serenaded with a song about sheep and watching the Vicomte de Chagny emptying ice into his lap.

ooo

By the of end of Act three, Raoul had resorted to 'accidentally' tipping a jug of water on himself as the box keeper had run out of ice, and yet the dastardly itching continued. The problem exacerbated by the fact that Box eight, like box five was right near the stage and the heat from the gas powered stage lamps was magnifying every little prickle and itch. Erik by this point had given up and had positioned his chair so that he could keep one eye on Raoul and one eye on Christine, when she was on stage, but watching the Vicomte struggle with the discomfort of what Erik suspected, was Barbers Itch, was too amusing to miss.

ooo

As the Orchestra leapt into the last run of the Galop infernal, Raoul was discovering what hell truly felt like. It was bad enough with his groin itching. But now his back, front, arm pits and everywhere else that had been shaved previously had decided to join in, even his face. Trying to distract himself Raoul focussed on the stage and tried twitching his legs along to the music.

Almost as soon as Raoul started bouncing his legs to the music Meredith turned to look at him with a smile, "See I knew once you got into the music you would be fine," she declared happily, "You are just itching to get down there and dance," she merrily exclaimed.

Raoul looked at her from where he had previously fixed his eyes on the stage, legs still bouncing along to the music, and his face a rictus of discomfort. "No, I am just itching," he replied mournfully.

Meredith sighed but ultimately took pity on her uncomfortable husband, "Very well, I shall get a message to Erik and then we shall leave for home," she told him.

Raoul felt guilty as he looked at his wife, he knew she had been looking forward to catching up with their friends both at the soiree and then for supper at the lake house; Then an idea occurred to him, the lake house was beside a lake… A very cold lake, perfect for soothing itching.

"If I could crave your indulgence Dearest," Raoul started, I am sure that we could still enjoy our evening without cutting it short." He informed Meredith, "I just ask if you could attend the soiree on your own as I have some urgent business to attend to, but never fear I shall meet you at the Lake house for supper with our friends." He stated sounding a lot brighter than he had all evening.

ooo

The stage curtains had closed for the last time and Raoul seemed keen to leave, pressing his lips to Meredith's cheek, he bade her farewell and dashed off. With a sigh Meredith collected her stole and made her way to the soiree alone.

ooo

The soiree had gone very well and the plaudits for Christine, Ettore and Carlotta, as well as the rest of the cast and extra credit for Madame Giry for her bold choice of choreography, poured in from the Patrons as champagne was quaffed and little amuse bouche eaten. As the guests relaxed Erik and Christine took the chance to leave and head home to get supper ready.

"Daroga, if you and Jean would be so kind as to escort not only your own lovely ladies but Meredith as well via the Rue Scribe gate, since Raoul has vanished somewhere. Christine myself and Madame Giry will meet you back at the house since a large party disappearing into Christine's dressing room and not coming out will be noticed. We shall see you down there." Erik stated as Nadir nodded whilst Jean Meg and Meredith still chatted with the Marquis de Bordeaux and other Patrons.

ooo

The first indication something was not quite right, was when Erik picked up the soft strange 'oh' noises coming from the direction of the lake as he, Christine and Madame Giry walked down from Christine's dressing room. Christine obviously picked up on them too as she looked to her husband with concern.

"Erik, what are those noises?" she whispered, her face a picture of concern, "Is that the siren of the lake, you spoke off?" she asked

The little group stopped suddenly just before the ramp that led to where the boat was moored, and Erik turned to address his wife's concerns.

"Erm no," he answered, "The siren is just me swimming under water, even I have no ability to conjure mythical creatures," he added, "besides the catfish would probably eat it!" he finished trying to inject a little humour into the situation, as an almost obscenely orgasmic declaration of 'Ahh!" came from the direction of the water.

"Ladies stay here!" Erik commanded as he handed the lantern to his wife and headed towards the direction of the noise.

As Erik strode off down the ramp, Madame Giry and Christine looked at each other in the lantern light and decided that they were not going to just wait, so as Christine dimmed the lantern, they both followed Erik.

When Erik had located the source of the noises, he got quite a shock. Firstly, the boat was missing from the dock on the opera house side and then he saw the cause of the noises; sitting in the lake completely unaware of his audience was the Vicomte de Chagny, his bare shoulders just above the water. In the darkness Erik could see the grin of relief on Raoul's face and the pile of his clothes in the boat moored to the dock by Erik's house. Turning away from this sight Erik saw just in time the two ladies approaching behind him. Reacting quickly, he intercepted them both before either had noticed the unclothed aquatic visitor.

"I am a little tired tonight and do not feel like I could pole the boat across safely!" Erik quietly informed the two ladies, "Let us walk the back path around the lake," he added before taking off on a path away from the water.

Madame Giry and Christine looked at each other, Erik was up to something, but it was follow him or stay there. So, with high suspicion they followed Erik as he made his way around the lake and headed home keeping a pace that ensured he reached the lake house before either Christine or Madame Giry.

ooo

Raoul was enjoying the relief of the icy water on his inflamed skin when he suddenly noticed two glowing yellow flames trained on him, he swallowed hard, and ducked behind the boat when Erik's voice reached his ears.

"Stay in the water and do not make a sound!" Erik's voice sternly commanded, as the flames vanished as rapidly as they had appeared.

Quickly opening the front door, Erik waited beside the dock using his height and his cloak to hide the boat, its contents and the Vicomte from Christine and Madame Giry. "What are you hiding Erik?" Christine asked suspiciously.

Erik had learnt finally about how to handle Christine's curiosity, "Nothing my angel," he replied smoothly, "Would you like for me to stand aside and show you?" he asked innocently.

Christine looked at him, if Erik was offering to move aside instead of arguing, obviously there really was nothing he was hiding, she reasoned; "No thank you Erik, I really must get on and lay out supper before everyone arrives." She answered him before heading into the house followed by Madame Giry, who; despite Erik's best air of innocence, was still eyeing him with suspicion.

Once both ladies were inside the house Erik turned to face his boat, "Alright what on earth are you doing naked in my lake?" he hissed, as a nervous Raoul poked his head out from behind the bow of the boat.

"I am not naked!" Raoul whispered back, "I have my undershorts on!" he added, "And as to what I am doing, I am using the icy water to relieve the maddening itching I am suffering!" he finished.

"Itching?" Erik replied grinning, "I believe the term you are looking for is barbers itch perchance?"

Raoul grimaced, "Yes and it is not funny, I have a rash everywhere!" he blushed as he informed Erik.

"So that is what you have been scratching all night!" Erik stated with a smirk, "you do know that if you keep irritating that rash you are going to end up covered in pustules!"

Raoul pulled a puzzled face, "Pustules?" he questioned.

"Boils!" Erik clarified sharply.

"Boils to you too!" Raoul replied indignantly as he crossed his arms, "There is no need to be rude!" he stated.

Erik sighed, and put his head in his hands, "No you will end up covered in boils if you keep irritating that rash!" he explained in frustration.

"Oh, boils!" Raoul replied before a look of horror spread across his face, "Boils!" he yelped, "I do not want to be covered in boils!"

"Will you keep your voice down!" Erik hissed, "I do not want my wife to see you in dishabille like this!" he continued, "In fact I do not want anyone to have to see this!"

Raoul looked like he was going to cry, "What am I going to do! Help me please!" he begged.

ooo

Meanwhile up in the opera house, the soiree had finished, and Jean and Nadir were just waiting for the ladies to exit the cloak room.

"where on earth is Raoul?" Jean grumbled.

"Meredith said he would meet us at the lake house for supper," Nadir replied, "something about urgent business."

"Whatever!" Jean retorted as Meg, Delphine and Meredith joined the two men and the group made their way out of the opera house.

ooo

Down at the side of the lake, Erik had managed to calm a fraught Vicomte and was thinking on what to do, checking his pocket watch, he realised there was not a lot of time left before the rest of their friends arrived. Deciding that in this case honesty was might have to be the best policy, he left Raoul still in the lake, and entered the house.

Erik found Christine chatting to Madame Giry in the sitting room and sidled up to his wife, "Angel, where is your large jar of skin balm?" he whispered in her ear.

"Erik! Why are you asking about skin balm?" Christine replied, sounding a little annoyed.

"There is an irritated aristocrat sitting in our lake!" Erik replied glibly, as Madame Giry joined Christine with puzzled look of her own.

Christine was passed being puzzled, she turned to face her husband "You are talking in riddles!" she huffed, what do you mean an irritated aristocrat?" she almost demanded.

"I mean I have a Vicomte de Chagny sitting semi naked in our lake covered in Barbers itch, cooling his rash," Erik answered, "I need your skin balm, a towel and a change of clothes quickly before the rest of our friends arrive." He finished.

Christine placed her head in her hands "Oh, good grief, Meredith will not be pleased to see that!" she sighed, "Madame Giry please excuse me for a minute," Christine asked of the now smirking Ballet Mistress, getting up and heading to her dressing room, exiting moments later with a very large jar of her pink skin balm.

Erik met her in the hallway carrying a complete set of clothes and a towel. "Make sure he dries everywhere well before he applies the balm." She instructed handing Erik the jar. "If you need assistance I shall send Madame out, there are somethings I have never wished to see!" she added. Erik took the jar, with a surprised look on his face, he made a mental note to ask about that last comment when this was all said and done.

Arriving back outside with the required items and a small lantern just to give some light to work by, Erik addressed the now shivering Vicomte, "Get out of that water before you die of cold, get those wet undershorts off and dry yourself, then cover everywhere that itches in this balm!" Erik instructed, "and dress quickly before your wife arrives."

"Are you going to help me?" Raoul asked between chattering teeth as he climbed onto the dock.

"Not if I can help it! Now hurry up!" Erik hissed before turning his back to give Raoul some privacy.

With numb fingers, Raoul found getting his sopping wet undershorts off was difficult but finally he managed it and dried himself as quickly as he could before opening the jar and scooping out some of the contents, he started rubbing it into his irritated skin, "Ohh! That feels nice!" he groaned in pleasure as the balm effectively put out the fiery itching.

ooo

Jean and the ladies had just arrived at the Rue Scribe gate and were waiting as Nadir lit the lantern to help guide them to the lake house. Jean, Meg and Delphine were chatting happily as they walked behind Nadir, who himself was lighting the way and listening carefully for Erik; having had several nasty scares in the past when the masked man decided to pop up suddenly just to see him jump.

ooo

Back on the shore Raoul hit a snag, "I say, I know you would rather not help me, but I cannot reach my back!" Raoul declared as he finished smoothing balm on his chest, "and I still have other areas to cover as well!" he added as he turned his head and looked at Erik's back.

Turning around, Erik groaned, "Fine!" he huffed "I shall put the balm on your back, just get the other areas covered!" Erik grumbled as Raoul held the jar of balm out behind him for Erik to remove some.

Slathering balm on his legs, Raoul felt a pair of chilled hands on his back, "Oh, your hands are cold!" he said with a nervous giggle, as he finished smoothing balm on his legs, and reached for another dollop for the more vital areas, bending over to smooth it on the last of his irritated flesh.

Erik groaned with annoyance as he was finishing spreading the balm on Raoul's back, "Just hurry up this is not how I want to be seen thank you!" he complained. Alas it was too late, as a lanterns light from across the lake, flashed in his eyes then suddenly went out.

Nadir stood still for a moment praising any deity listening, that for security reasons all Erik's lanterns had a flame kill switch in case anyone was following who should not and for once the Persian was grateful for that switch. Frankly no one should have to have seen what he just witnessed, albeit for a fleeting second but still, this would haunt him for some time to come.

Back on the shore, Raoul was frantic, "they saw me they saw me!" he squeaked, as Erik dashed about and picked up the clean clothes.

"Wrap the towel around yourself" Erik ordered as Raoul obeyed, Erik then shoved the clean clothes in his arms, "Now get in the front door, turn right into the hallway then left into my bedroom the door at the end of the room is my bathroom, get in there and get dressed!" he whispered harshly as sounds of concern came from across the lake.

Back on the Rue Scribe path, Meg and Meredith were getting concerned, they, Jean and Delphine had been happily nattering when the lantern suddenly went out. "I cannot see anything!" Meg wailed.

"I have spare matches in my pocket!" Nadir responded, pretending to fumble around locating the matches, he knew were in his top pocket, _'Hurry up Erik and finish whatever you are doing!'_ he thought as he located the matches and relit the lantern.

At the same time as Nadir was locating his matches, Raoul had dashed though the front door like a mob was after him and was panicking in the doorway of the sitting room. When a snigger came from Erik's reading chair, "Turn right the first left!" Madame Giry informed him as Christine stood with her back to him eyes firmly shut. Raoul nodded his thanks and vanished into Erik and Christine's bedroom. As the door slammed shut Christine finally opened her eyes; to see Madame Giry chuckling with amusement.

"I would not worry my dear," Madame Giry said, "With how cold that water is I doubt you would have seen anything anyway!" she finished with a snigger.

Back by the lake Erik was welcoming the rest of the friends to the house, when Nadir insisted that the others went inside as he wanted a word with Erik in private. As Jean closed the door behind him Nadir turned to his long-time friend with an odd grin on his face.

"I shall need bleach for my eyes after what I saw earlier!" he declared as Erik screwed the top back on the jar Raoul had hastily abandoned in his panic.

"Trust me that makes two of us!" Erik replied sourly.

Nadir noticed the jar of balm Erik still had in his hand and recalled Erik creating it for his then young protégé in her youth when the stage make up made her come out in spots. He realised at that moment Erik had merely been assisting Raoul with his shaving issues; however, this had opened up an opportunity to razz Erik mercilessly and these opportunities did not come often. "What on earth were you doing with a naked Raoul?" he asked in a disdainful voice.

"Rubbing balm on his back and nothing else!" Erik retorted back with chagrin as he shuddered, then his eyes opened wide with horror, "You… You … You cannot be serious!" Erik squeaked suddenly staring at a smirking Nadir, shock infusing his voice, "You think I was engaged in a lewd tryst with that idiot!"

Nadir grinned, it was fun watching Erik squirm for a change. "I was calmly bringing our friends down to your house when I spied across the lake, you and the Vicomte canoodling obscenely I might add, his buttocks pressed against your trousers a look of pleasure on his face, his hands rubbing a part of his anatomy I do not want to think about and your hands gripping his shoulders, and you explain that with 'I was rubbing balm on his back!'" Nadir stated with a leer, "You also have greasy buttock prints on your trousers!" he added pointing to the offending marks.

"Ugh! I am going to kill that idiot!" Erik growled as he located his handkerchief and wiped the balm laden marks off. Suddenly realising Nadir was having a ball, winding him up, Erik was not impressed "You really are a Perverted Persian at times!" Erik hissed, as Nadir just laughed.

ooo

Back in the lake house a fully dressed and finally itch free Raoul had joined his wife and friends in the sitting room, and Christine was just waiting for Erik and Nadir to finish whatever bickering session they were currently engaged in before everyone could enjoy supper.

The front door opened just as Christine was getting up to fetch her husband and his friend from outside and a sniggering Nadir and an unimpressed Erik entered, "You say one word!" Erik growled as Nadir, still grinning, took a seat next to Delphine.

"As if I would!" Nadir replied with a sweet smile, as Erik headed to his bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Christine enquired, "Supper is waiting!" she exclaimed, as Erik stopped in his tracks and turned to smile at his puzzled wife.

"I am just going to freshen up and return shortly," he informed her, "Please everyone can start I shall join you, no sense waiting." He added, entering his bedroom and shutting the door.

It was at that moment Meredith noticed her husband's outfit was different from the one he wore to the gala. "What have you done to your clothes?" she demanded, "That is not the outfit you were wearing earlier."

"Well… I… err…" Raoul tried to explain, before Meredith sniffed him.

"You smell of Roses and…" she sniffed again, "Someone else's cologne," she huffed.

Erik returned to the sitting room having changed his trousers, and Meredith had to perform a double take. "You and Erik are wearing matching outfits!" she pointed out, glaring at Raoul.

The Vicomte had several options open to him at this point, and thankfully he chose the honest option. "I was itching from a non-contagious rash and I was uncomfortable, so I came down here at the end of the gala and sat in the lake to soothe the irritation, Erik found me and gave me some skin balm which has stopped the itching and because my clothes were wet he gave me a fresh set of clothes so I would not disgrace you at supper." He mumbled.

As the rest of the friends looked on Meredith sighed and shook her head at her husband, before turning to Erik, "This is becoming a regular chore, Thank you for getting my silly husbands backside out of the mire once again." She told Erik gratefully.

Nadir could not resist the chance for a final dig, "Trust me Meredith, it was not a chore for Erik to assist your husbands back side," He interjected cheekily, "I think Erik rather enjoys it!" he finished with a grin.

"Daroga!" Erik yelped his voice indignant, "So help me one of these days!" he grumbled as everyone else laughed, before the friends all enjoyed a well-earned supper.


	10. Chapter 10

**I apologise for the long delay between chapters.**

 **I would like to dedicate this chapter to My Beloved Mum who died just before Christmas.**

 **I do not own anything by Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay or Andrew Lloyd Webber, everything else is my own work.**

 **Calisthenics, Sandals and Such**

Although there was the rest of the run of Orpheus, with the gala such a success, the opera company threw themselves into the rehearsals for Faust. With twelve weeks to go, the excitement created with the plaudits for Orpheus, was carrying through to the next opera.

Well everyone was excited; except for the wardrobe department; they had hit a few snags with the costumes for the upcoming production. Problems that Bernadette was outlining to Madame Giry during their morning coffee.

"The blouson breeches that would suit her shape she refuses to wear, and she looks awful in the tight fitted style that she insists are better!" Bernadette sighed as she sipped her coffee.

"She looked like a pair of overstuffed sausages from what I saw yesterday!" Madame Giry commented in response.

"To make it worse, she split those trying to put her shoes on!" Bernadette declared forlornly, "I feel like she is going to split her breeches on stage and then it looks like my department makes shoddy costumes!" she added miserably.

Madame Giry patted her friends hand companionly, "I am just not sure what we are going to do about the costumes for Siebel," she said, "Unless she loses some weight, that is…"

"It would take a Miracle worker to get Carlotta into shape before the gala of Faust!" Bernadette sighed.

"I think if I ask nicely, especially via his wife, we might just have one of those!" Madame Giry responded with a smile.

ooo

Meanwhile ensconced in her dressing room, Carlotta was venting her spleen to her husband. "I do not see why they cannot understand that I will not wear breeches for baggy old men!" she grumbled, "to make it worse, the only fitted breeches they had were created for the Daae girl when she was my second fiddle!" she continued to whine, reaching into a box from the local patisserie.

Ettore was worn through; this was an ongoing battle; his darling wife might be more pleasant to work with since she was no longer the reigning Diva, but she had started feeling sorry for herself and relapsed her strict vocal diet, almost constantly snacking on Pastries and sweets, so the weight was piling on. "Bella Donna, you have abused your sweet tooth far too much, and I for one am fed up with telling you that you do not need all the sugar and pastries you currently enjoy." Ettore stated, "As for Madame Christine, she won her place as La Jardinier fair and square." He added, beginning to lose patience with his wife.

"So, you are enchanted with her just like everyone else!" Carlotta huffed as she lift her hand from the box and waved a cream and chocolate filled choux bun at him, looking like she was going to cry.

Ettore sighed, "I perform with her and that is that!" he huffed, "I love only one fiery Redhead from Spain myself," he added kissing his wife's forehead as Carlotta sighed and bit into her treat. This was ridiculous, Ettore had to do something before his wife turned into a soprano choux bun. Kissing her cheek, Ettore headed off to seek counsel with one person who might be able to help; La Jardinier herself.

ooo

Christine was feeling like she wanted to scream, when she opened the door of her dressing to see Ettore standing there, looking hopeful. She sighed, "Do not tell me, you want to know how I keep my figure and if I have any advice for your wife!" she exclaimed with exasperation.

"Yes, how did you know?" Ettore asked puzzled.

"Currently I have the Wardrobe Mistress and Madame Giry, trying to get the same information out of me!" Christine told him, "Come in!" she added as she stood to one side and Ettore squeezed into the small dressing room.

It was an odd meeting, Christine sat there as three people all begged for her assistance. In the end Christine had, had enough! "Fine I shall ask Erik for some assistance, since I have no other ideas on how to help." Christine told them all. "Now please can I have a moments peace!" she begged as a grateful Ettore, Bernadette and Madame Giry left the harangued Diva to relax.

ooo

Erik was in a cheerful mood, a successful day in the office, four designs completed, and thanks to Jean three more new contracts, had indeed put a spring into his step, and all Erik could think of was a rewarding lesson with his angel and a delicious soak in a hot bath for two, before… Well before a lovely early night with little sleep.

His plans came crashing down around his ears as he entered the sitting room of the lake house to see Christine, standing there with a winsome look on her face. Erik knew that look meant he was going to be kissing goodbye to his plans for the evening before they even started.

"Give me a moment petite!" Erik exclaimed as he took off his mask, placed it on the table beside his chair then went straight for the liquor cabinet and poured himself a generous brandy before sitting in his chair by the fireplace. "Right, what have you broken, said or volunteered me for!" he asked suspiciously, taking a swig from his glass.

"I may have accidentally volunteered you to assist Carlotta to lose weight!" Christine replied succinctly, as Erik promptly choked on his mouthful of brandy and spat it into the fire; where it turned the flames an interesting colour for a moment as he coughed and spluttered.

"You did what!" Erik yelped, his unmasked face a picture of abject horror, "after what she did to me last time!" he added.

"Erik, Ettore says she is miserable since she lost the Prima Donna's position, she is comfort eating and… Well I also promised Madame Giry and Bernadette from Wardrobe that I would help them with her costume issues," Christine pointed out lamely.

"No!" Erik decided immediately, "No and do not try your puppy pout on me it will not work this time." He declared, "Ask Darling Raoul to help her!" he instructed.

Christine looked at him with her big doe eyed expression, "But Erik, Raoul is not as fit and athletic as you, and Carlotta, she is not as resilient as you and… Please help her!" she begged.

Erik sighed, he was not prepared to budge on the matter, and Christine was giving clear signs she was not going to give up either; this was going to be a long night.

ooo

The following morning, Erik was still in a foul mood. Not only had last night no flesh based pleasures, his angel had once again won over his resolve. "She will need some flat shoes and some loose clothing; the outfit with trousers I have suggested is preferred as she cannot do any calisthenics in her gowns!" he instructed as Christine made a list to hand to Ettore.

"What exercises are you thinking of starting her with?" Christine asked.

"An ancient form of gentle movements from Asia called Tai Chi," Erik grumbled, as he leafed through an old manuscript. "That and a strict vocal diet, with no sugar or cream!" he added.

Christine folded the complete list and placed it in her bag, before walking over to her sulking husband and giving him a passionate kiss. "Thank you for this, You really are so very kind!" she murmured against his lips.

"You have turned me into a soft touch!" Erik grumbled.

"I think you have always been a soft touch, for me, and I love you so because of it!" Christine added placing another kiss to his unmasked cheek with a giggle, before grabbing her cloak and heading to rehearsals.

ooo

Up in the opera house, the senior cast had a small break, Ettore was delighted when Christine told him that Erik was going to help, and then a little nervous when she handed him the list of clothing that Erik insisted Carlotta would need to wear.

"My wife does not own any trousers, and where would I procure such items as your husband suggests?" Ettore questioned looking worried.

"Do not worry about the Shalvar and Jameh," Christine assured the nervous tenor, just make sure she has some flat shoes, "Erik will procure the clothing required." She added.

Ettore smiled, "Indeed my wife has Spanish flat leather slip on sandals that she wears around the house, just warn your husband not to upset her when she is wearing them!" he continued.

"Why?" Christine felt she had to ask.

Ettore sniggered, "If your husband is as well travelled as I suspect he is, he will know the dangers of 'La Chancletas'." He finished, turning towards his wife's location, as Christine shrugged, feeling puzzled at this weird warning and headed back towards her own dressing room.

ooo

Christine had barely made it into her dressing room when Erik materialised beside her, "La Chancletas!" he said making his wife jump slightly, "According to my studies it is an item used by Spanish mothers to discipline children since before the Conquistadors," he whispered into his wife's ear, "and nothing to worry about since she is neither my mother or I her child!" he declared.

Christine sighed, "Erik please be nice to her, for me!" she asked sweetly, before remembering Ettore's concerns. "Ettore cannot get any trousers for his wife and does not know what Shalvar and Jameh are!" she added.

"Fine!" Erik huffed, "If they are still there, I know where I can lay my hands on Shalvar and Jameh that will fit our Rubenesque Second Soprano," he assured his wife "I think the colour will suit her!" Erik remarked as he kissed Christine and then vanished into the shadows.

Christine sighed, rubbed her forehead and went back to rehearsals.

ooo

Nadir was enjoying a pleasant late morning at home when his hearing picked up the faint scratch of lock picks followed by silence, then the squeak of his armoire doors then more silence. Standing up and rapidly dashing out the sitting room, Nadir caught his intruder, strolling calmly out of the front door with a large bundle of raspberry red and gold embroidered cloth in their hands.

"Erik!" Nadir barked, before watching his friend instantly turn around to face him. "What are you doing with those Shalvar and Jameh?" he asked as Erik stepped back inside and closed the front door again.

Erik smiled, "I have urgent need of these particular items, to solve a costuming problem." He answered succinctly before smirking. "I saw you still had them when I tried to raid your armoire for the masquerade!" he added fondly.

Nadir laughed, "Yes I still have them a reminder to never let you go shopping for my clothes when you are high!" Nadir remarked, "I still cannot believe you thought that I was that size let alone that I would wear Raspberry pink!" he continued, his face becoming serious. "So, what do you want them for? A costuming problem? Surely the costume department can make a set of Shalvar and Jameh if they need them?" Nadir questioned suspiciously.

Erik looked uncertain for moment, before finding his words, "This is a delicate matter, my darling angel has roped me into the Carlotta Giordano Weight loss programme." He explained.

"That does not explain your filching from my armoire!" Nadir pointed out.

Erik gave up trying to be tactful. "It does if the lady in question is too fat to fit her costumes and needs to do some calisthenics!" Erik pointed out, "she cannot exercise in her gowns!" he added.

"So, let me get this straight!" Nadir sighed, "Christine talked you into helping Carlotta again, now you are absconding with a set of my clothes to give to her to exercise in so she can lose weight?" Nadir reiterated, "So, who is going to be teaching her these exercises?" he asked for clarity.

"Me of course!" Erik replied stoically.

Nadir failed to stifle his sudden sniggers, "Seriously, after how she scared you last time?" he said still sniggering.

"She did not scare me!" Erik replied with a glower, "she merely overwhelmed me! Especially since her chaperone, failed in his task!" he added with a growl.

"I often wonder," Nadir said pondering, "If I was her chaperone or yours? I thought you wanted me to protect her from you, not the other way around!" he finished with a grin.

"I will not be singing, so there is no risk this time!" Erik stated confidently, effectively ignoring Nadir's last comments.

"The 'Exercise with Erik Weight Loss Programme'," Nadir mused, "this I have got to see!" he added brightly, reaching for his astrakhan hat and jacket.

"Is your attendance really necessary?" Erik asked in exasperation.

"If you want to use the Shalvar and Jameh, yes!" Nadir replied.

Erik sighed, "very well! Come along I have not got all day!" he barked heading out of the front door followed by an amused and curious Nadir.

ooo

It had taken Ettore putting his foot down before Carlotta accepted responsibility for her current costuming issues. And as she and Ettore waited for Erik to arrive, the former Diva stared longingly at the wastepaper bin, where Ettore had just thrown the box that contained the latest half eaten choux bun he had caught her consuming when he walked in.

"If they just make my costumes to fit there would be no problem!" Carlotta huffed still eyeing the box.

"My wife, you are ruining your voice and pleasing figure with all the sweets and cream!" Ettore pointed out..

"A few treats make me feel better!" Carlotta grumbled back.

Ettore knew she was going to continue to put up a fight, but he had had enough, time to put his foot down, something Ettore felt he should have been done a long time ago. "You need something else to make you feel better!" he declared, "I feel that it is time you limbered up and moved past this block, to start we, I mean you will cease all sugar and cream, and to fill your boredom, I have engaged a coach to help you." He instructed, his voice brokering no argument.

Carlotta raised her brows and stood swiftly up, "Now see here!" she declared glaring at her husband, "I do not take orders!" she shouted, wagging her fore finger in his face.

"You do now!" Ettore roared back, "It is high time you got off your pedestal and started accepting some responsibility for your own career!" he finished, as Carlotta looked at him thunderstruck; No one had ever shouted at her before… Well except the Opera Ghost and as far as Carlotta was concerned he did not count. So, she did the only thing that made sense to her shocked mind, and for once in her life, she gave up.

ooo

Erik dragged Nadir all the way to the house on the lake, so he could change before the two made their way to Carlotta's dressing room.

"You are serious about this?" Nadir questioned as he looked at his masked friend who was wearing a black silk Shalvar and Jameh set complete with kammerband, his own flat footwear whisper quiet on the stone floor of the tunnel they were using to get backstage.

"Of course!" Erik replied, "I promised Christine I would help!"

"Here we go again!" was all that Nadir could manage before the two friends reached the door that lead to Carlotta's dressing room entrance.

Erik put his hand up to open the door but stopped, turning his head to fix Nadir with a steely eyed glare, "I trust that the chaperone will not negate his duties this time?" he asked coldly.

"Only if the call of nature outweighs the call of duty!" Nadir replied with a grin.

"Perturbing Persian!" Erik grumbled as Nadir sniggered, and with that the two left the tunnel and headed to Carlotta's door.

Ettore opened the door to receive a face full of raspberry cloth, which he took as Erik and Nadir entered to see a shocked Carlotta staring at them both from her seat at her dressing table.

"Good Morning," Erik announced to Ettore, as he strode into the room, "I have been asked to assist your lovely wife, by my wife La Jardinier."

Ettore looked over the black clad and masked figure before noting the sunrise sized grin on the Persian's face. "Are you planning to assassinate my beloved?" he asked suspiciously as Nadir started to snigger before turning the sniggers to coughing at Erik's sudden glare.

"No, I am not an assassin!" Erik declared "I merely like to keep in shape and find that these clothes are appropriate for my exercises." Erik replied, still glaring at Nadir.

"And this cloth is?" Ettore asked, looking down at the large pile of raspberry red and gold cloth in his hands.

"It is a ladies version of the exercise clothing I am wearing." Erik replied, "My friend is from Persia and I gave him instructions to procure a set for your lovely wife in a shade most becoming of her fair complexion." Erik added saccharinely.

Nadir's coughing became choking at the overly sugared and completely untrue explanation, which Erik chose to ignore.

"I have taken the liberty of asking your wife's dresser to assist her with changing into her exercise wear and notifying myself when she is changed and ready to start." Erik informed Ettore, "Until then I shall be watching the rehearsals of Faust from backstage." Erik added before elbowing the still coughing Nadir and turning to leave.

Ettore shut the door as Erik and Nadir vanished from sight, "Well erm, it seems to be all sorted out!" he announced slightly puzzled as he handed Carlotta the outfit and watched as she opened out the clothing and gasped in delight.

"Oh, the darling man, he knew what my favourite colour is!" Carlotta declared happily as she looked at the trousers and tunic before her, before another delighted gasp, "It has real gold thread woven into it in beautiful patterns, and it is made of the most luxurious silk!" she added cuddling the items.

"Humm, I think that he has spent far too much attention on your personal details as far as I am concerned!" Ettore grumbled.

Carlotta smiled, her Ettore was jealous of another man's attention to her, something she had not experienced in years and she was very flattered. "I only have eyes for one man and that is you my husband!" she purred reaching for Ettore's hand.

"That is how it should be Bella Diva!" Ettore replied turning to place a kiss on his wife's forehead, when a knock on the door interrupted the two love birds.

"Senor Giordano, Monsieur Reyer requests your presence on stage please!" a voice called out.

"Adieu until later!" Ettore called out as he made his way out of the door to be replaced with Carlotta's dresser.

ooo

Meanwhile Jean and Meg had just come the dance foyer with a few issues of their own.

"Maman will lose her wig if she figures out what you are trying to smuggle into rehearsal, you should have left her in our apartment!" Meg hissed at her husband.

Jean adjusted his grip on the now growling and wiggling blanket under his arm; "I am sorry, but you know the little rat will not settle without human company!" Jean whispered back.

"Peaches is not a rat!" Meg hissed "she is a sweet little Pomeranian!" she added as the contents of the blanket tried to bite Jeans fingers.

"Ouch!" Jean yelped under his breath, as he moved his fingers away from the little teeth that appeared through the blankets material, "sweet indeed!" Jean continued, "and you just had to agree to look after her for Mama." He added.

Meg giggled, "Really Jean, your Mama and Papa have their first ever trip to England, to see her cousin, Peaches cannot go with them and she does not get on with the rest of your mama's dogs, how could I say no?" Meg replied succinctly, before adding, "you only dislike her because she left a little message in your slipper last night."

"You call it a little message, I call it…" Jean started.

"Language!" Meg reminded him.

The blanket wriggled some more, and Jean sighed, I shall have to find a quiet corner to sit with her and watch your rehearsal," he added looking around.

"Could you not have taken her to work?" Meg asked.

"Erik is here today; something about exercise…" Jean mumbled "so no work for the morning." He added locating a small chair at the side of the dance foyer and sitting down, as Meg went to get changed for rehearsal.

ooo

Meanwhile backstage, Carlotta's dresser had notified Erik that the former Diva was changed and ready.

"Are you coming with me?" Erik asked as the current run through of the duet between Christine and Ettore came to an end.

"No, I think I shall stay here and listen, I am finding that I quite enjoy Faust." Nadir replied, "and anyway you are planning to use the practice room behind us so I will join you both there." Nadir finished as on stage Monsieur Reyer instructed everyone to run the scene again.

ooo

Reaching Carlotta's Dressing room Erik politely knocked on the door and waited… and waited… and knocked again this time less politely; then he opened the door just in time to see Carlotta spin around from facing her dressing table to face him with her hand to her mouth, her jaw moving and a guilty look in her eye.

"You try my patience Senora!" Erik snapped stepping forward menacingly as he realised that the hand in front of Carlotta's face was most likely hiding a mouthful of something containing cream and lots of sugar.

Carlotta did not recognise the danger she was in but her subconscious did and her body took an unconscious step back, then her backside reached the dressing table with the sound of crumpling paper then an odd squelch.

It did not take Erik even a second to work out what had happened, and with the recognition came a roar of laughter, Carlotta realised what she had done and turned her head to see in her mirror the remains of the illicit pastry along with its lashings of cream stuck to the seat of her new exercise trousers.

"Senora, this does indeed prove that sweet pastries increase an already expanded bustle!" Erik declared loudly between laughs.

Carlotta immediately forgot about her current clothing incident and glared at a still sniggering Erik. The Garnier's second soprano then promptly forgot she was supposed to be a lady. "Cerdo Arrogante!" she yelled as she promptly picked up her glass bowl of face powder and hurled it at Erik, closely followed by her stage rouge, "Bastardo!"

Erik had stopped laughing but was still amused, apart from a light dusting of pale pink face powder, he was pretty much untouched, and the rouge just bounced off the door frame… However, his masked face then fell, as like a bolt of lightning from the gods, Carlotta had wrenched one sandal off her foot and was aiming it in his direction.

"Merde!" Erik yelped as Ettore's warning rang in his ears again, and for once in his life, Erik did not stand and fight; like anyone facing la Chancletas, he turned and ran!

"Vuelve aqui maldito cobarde!" Carlotta yelled as with one bare foot and the remains of a choux bun adhered to her clothes she took off at surprisingly high speed after him.

ooo

Nadir had gotten comfortable on a little stool tucked in the wing stage right. He had forgotten why he was actually there and was lost in the heart breaking love duet between Christine and Ettore as Margarita and Faust within the prison cell set on stage. It was quite a rude awakening for him when his ears picked up the distant sound of Erik swearing.

"Merde! Merde! Merde! NADIR!" Erik yelled as he got closer to his bemused friend.

All of a sudden just as Ettore and Christine reached the climax of the piece; the melancholy was suddenly destroyed as a Black clad masked figure shot across the stage and raced passed the two onstage lovers.

"CHRISTINE! Get her off me!" Erik yelled as he dashed passed.

Carlotta had reached the right wing of the stage and was just about to dash out when she realised that if she ran after Erik he could outrun her. She stared across at Erik who was now stage left watching her warily.

Nadir picked himself up off the floor where he had been knocked to by Carlotta's rampaging dash to get his masked friend and stood there watching the standoff between Erik and Carlotta. In fact, Ettore, Christine and the Orchestra as well as everyone who had heard the kerfuffle were trying to quietly see what had happened and what was going to occur.

Erik made a mistake and got cocky, grinning at the peeved soprano, he turned to walk off when a whistling sound from stage right caught his ears just before a ladies sandal smacked into his ear and nearly knocked him off his feet.

"Ouch!" Erik declared rubbing his now abused ear, at the same time as a roar of laughter with a Persian accent erupted from stage right..

Carlotta strode onto the stage, "Disculpas o Voy a tirar otrol!" she yelled lifting her still sandaled foot and reaching for the remaining dreaded Chancleta.

Erik was rapidly considering his options when a high pitched yapping interrupted his thoughts, followed by Meg's yell of dismay "Peaches! Jean you let her escape!".

ooo

Monsieur Reyer was sure someone had designed this day as a practical joke, not only had one of the most emotional duets been ruined by a sandal chucking soprano and Erik Jardiner's screaming dash across the stage. But now as Reyer stood on his podium and hung his head in his hands, there was a little golden ball of fluff that had charged yapping loudly onto the stage and headed directly towards Carlotta; who realised the small dog was heading in her direction and more importantly towards her rear, where the last remains of a chocolate choux bun were adhered, so she yelped and ran; the little dog following her noisily.

ooo

Erik stood stage left and watched open mouthed as Carlotta took off with the little dog following close behind yapping all the way, rapidly being chased up by Jean holding what looked lie a torn blanket and Meg; her crinoline tutu fluttering as she ran.

"I do not know how you do it?" Nadir questioned as he arrived beside Erik, "You are yet again causing chaos here," he pointed out.

Erik turned around to retort when the little dog's yapping and Carlotta's screaming got louder again. Suddenly Erik grabbed Nadir and threw himself and his friend to one side as Carlotta shot passed, followed still by the dog and Meg, Jean tailed behind panting heavily.

Nadir got up from the floor, as the furore went past and dusted himself down, "I suppose I should thank you for preventing me getting stampeded," he sighed as Erik stood up beside him, now sniggering. "What may I ask is so funny?" Nadir demanded as Christine and Ettore joined them stage left.

"I think I have found the way to get Carlotta to lose weight!" Erik declared happily.

Ettore looked at Erik and then glanced backstage where his wife was now trying to climb a ladder into the flies to avoid her little golden fluffy pursuer.

ooo

So, began the worst few weeks of Carlotta's life. She swore that Erik Jardinier was crueller to her than the Opera Ghost had ever been.

ooo

"What have you done with Peaches?" Meg asked the following morning, as she and Jean left their apartment for the day.

"Erik picked her up first thing this morning, he said he would exercise her well for us and I for one could not refuse, since I have several clients to meet with today." Jean replied as he escorted Meg to the Opera House.

Meg sniggered, "I can just see Uncle Erik with Peaches, strolling in the Tullieries" she added as they arrived at the stage door to be met with an angry Madame Giry.

"Before you two go any further, I want proof that there is no Pomeranian Pest hidden anywhere!" Madame Giry growled, "There will be no repeat of the disaster yesterday do you hear me!" she added as she started a pat down search of her daughter and Jean.

"Maman, we do not have Peaches!" Meg declared as Madame Giry scowled at them, having found no little dog hidden away.

"Monsieur Jardinier has her!" Jean informed his mother in law, "He said he will return her tonight." He added.

"Oh, sweet sanity," Madame Giry replied, "What is that man up to now?" she asked as she stared into the sky for divine assistance, before allowing Meg and Jean to enter the stage door.

ooo

At the same time down in the lake house, Christine was putting her cloak on ready to head upstairs for rehearsals; as she watched Erik fussing the little dog in between attaching a length of thin rubber on which was strung a leather cup to the tines of a metal tuning fork.

"Erik what are you plotting?" Christine asked suspiciously.

"This is all part of my master plan to get Carlotta to loose weight!" her erstwhile husband replied airily.

Sighing, Christine picked up her bag, "You know what; I think I do not want to know." She declared as she kissed Erik and headed up for the day.

ooo

Ettore and Carlotta had just arrived in her dressing room and were chatting as Carlotta's dresser arrived carrying a now clean bundle of raspberry and gold cloth.

"What do I need this for?" Carlotta asked as her dresser laid out the all too familiar exercise clothes.

"Monsieur Jardinier informed me that he will arrive in half an hour for your first session Senora." Her dresser replied as Ettore opened a bag he was carrying and pulled out Carlotta's house sandals.

Carlotta sighed as Ettore looked at her pointedly, "Very well but if he insults me again I will throw both Chancletas at him this time." She remarked as she went behind her screen to change.

"Of that I have no doubt!" Ettore commented as he left his wife to change.

ooo

Erik was just leaving the house on the lake, with Peaches tucked under his arm, when Nadir caught up with him. "What is that?" Nadir demanded as Erik stood locking his front door.

"This is a Pomeranian dog called Peaches" Erik replied casually as he turned to head up into the opera house.

Nadir sighed, "I know that the little golden ball of fluff is a dog, I mean what is that funny contraption you have tucked in your jacket breast pocket?" Nadir queried, as he pointed to the strange assembly of rubber tubing and leather strung from a tuning fork. "A new weapon for Carlotta perhaps? He added cheekily.

"You are not so far from the truth o' probing Persian!" Erik calmly replied, it is a Rogatka, a type of Russian handheld ballister you might call it a catapult." Erik replied sweetly, "slightly updated as I have used Rubber tubing instead of traditional stringing to give it more power over distances that Spanish sandals cannot travel when thrown." He added morosely.

"Why do you need a dog and a catapult, what are you up to now?" Nadir asked resigned to being dragged into the situation again.

"Let us walk since we are due to meet with our exercise client shortly!" Erik instructed before setting off at a brisk pace, the little dog in his arms licking his hand excitedly.

"Give me strength!" Nadir declared under his breath before chasing to catch up with an accelerating Erik.


End file.
